Transparency Item: The Perspectives section of the Graphic is comprised of articles based on opinion. This is the opinion and perspective of the writer.
Content Warning: The following includes references to eating disorders.
Over the summer, my family and I went to visit friends that live very far from us. Over the two days we stayed with them, regardless of what time it was, it seemed like we couldn’t pass through a room without one of them offering us cake, chicken, coffee or pasta.
Preparing food is a staple of hospitality culture across the world. It is a very simple way to show other people that you care about them and their well-being, and I am grateful that it was modeled for me growing up.
It struck me as I sat there with my family that I appreciated not having to choose what I was eating that day. Somebody else had decided for me, and all the moral judgments linked with food choices were excluded from the equation.
During childhood, my eating habits were based mainly on convenience and routine, and gratitude around food was a huge part of my upbringing and education. Balancing appreciation with moderation was a message I received in school fairly often.
That day with my family and friends, I began to wonder when eating food had turned from a nice thing to this delicate, loaded subject. Myself and many people I know worry about food to an excessive degree, and there doesn’t seem to be any happiness around the topic.
I am not the only one wondering, since discourse about food seems to be a major player online. What it means to be healthy, to have an eating disorder or to practice certain values are all nuanced topics of frequent discussion.
Sometimes this discussion is very unhelpful, at least in my experience. For every person talking about how this or that way of eating made their life better, another is talking about how it made their life worse.
Much of this advice comes from people online who are not qualified to give advice on sensitive subjects regarding food. Some have little to no professional knowledge or are frequently trying to sell something to their audience.
While I don’t doubt that much of this content is genuine and very helpful, I have made a decision to try disengaging with most content related to food. Instead, I have found it more helpful to talk directly with family and friends about how they approach food, as well as pay greater attention to what actually works for me and not what I wish worked for me.
I once had a conversation with a relative who said that, as a child, his friends’ parents would always offer him food. This person grew up in poverty, and he was always hungry, so he was baffled at how casually his friends regarded the marvel of a whole sandwich.
This conversation allowed me to consider what I take for granted about food in a more personal sense, as well as how I can be better about providing for the people around me. It also made me consider how guilt can operate on multiple levels; a person might binge or restrict due to guilt about food, but then they might feel guilty about hurting themselves with food when others have none.
Regardless of how one approaches food, I believe it is important to have perspective about it. In doing so, it is also vital not to discount one’s own experiences.
Food is a precious and a precarious element of life for many people, associated with both joy and horror. Food insecurity, poverty, eating disorders and diet culture are heightened by greed and poisonous to humanity.
Much of the discussion on food is contradictory and difficult to follow, or is inaccessible to people on a budget and lacks nuance regarding personal nutrition and choice. I think food will unfortunately remain a complicated issue.
The solution might be in radical compassion for ourselves and each other, as well as a commitment to providing for each other in the spirit of love and hospitality. Everything cannot be fixed overnight, but everything can change over time, and I think we can infuse food conversations with more empathy and practicality rather than judgment and anxiety.
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Contact Alyssa Johnson via email: alyssa.johnson@pepperdine.edu
