Art by Cara Tang
Transparency Item: The Perspectives section of the Graphic is comprised of articles based on opinion. This is the opinion and perspective of the writer.
Expectations are often framed as motivation. In college, especially, students are encouraged to set high standards for themselves while constantly visualizing success and a future.
In theory, expectations are healthy and push us to try and utilize our full potential. In reality, though, expectations can just as easily set us up for failure.
As students, it’s easy to attach expectations to almost everything. Expecting a certain grade if we study enough, a professor to change our lives because everyone says they will or expecting choosing the “right” major to make the path for our futures clear and attainable.
When those expectations aren’t met, the disappointment can be really crushing.
Psychologist and author Daniel Kahneman wrote the human is a “prediction machine,” according to his book “Thinking, Fast and Slow.”
The term “prediction machine” means our brains are constantly comparing reality to what our minds expect to happen, according to the American Psychological Association.
Our brain starts to create a gap between expectations and reality. The bigger the gap gets, the more detrimental unmet expectations become for our confidence, perspective and happiness, according to Psychology Today.
Expectations give life structure. They help provide a sense of comfort by offering a framework for how we think things will play out.
For example, expecting an airport to be busy helps us prepare for stress rather than being somewhat blindsided by it.
But expectations can turn dangerous quickly. In unfamiliar scenarios, it is easy to form expectations to feel a sense of control.
People often advise to “expect the worst” so that any outcome feels better in comparison to the expectation. Conversely, it is easy to set high expectations out of optimism or hope for an outcome.
For example, expecting an experience to be really amazing or life-changing, or expecting food to taste far better than it did.
Expectations also play a really powerful role academically. Many students have experienced the relief of their grade being a lot better than expected.
Students have also most likely been on the other side of it, where they expected a much better grade. When constantly being faced with unmet academic expectations like that, the question of self-worth starts creeping in.
The thought can easily shift from “maybe if I studied harder, I could have gotten a better grade” to “if I tried this hard and didn’t get the grade I expected, I must not be good enough.”
Another instance could be an athlete training hard all season, expecting a performance from themselves they just couldn’t meet. These kinds of disappointments lead to burnout and loss of passion, according to Sonya Looney.
No matter what the unmet expectation is for, the illusion that things were supposed to go a certain way can distort the way we see ourselves.
At a school like Pepperdine, it’s even more amplified. Pepperdine’s environment is full of ambition, opportunity and constant reminders of achievement that encourage all students to set high expectations of themselves.
When you pair that with our surrounding areas of Malibu and Los Angeles, where “success” is constantly visible, it becomes easy to start allowing expectations to be built on comparison rather than personal drive and growth.
An important shift to prevent the risk of unmet expectations is to set goals instead. Goals provide us with direction, while expectations demand a specific outcome.
Having a goal of getting an A, performing well in a sport or trying new things regardless of the outcome is something to work toward. Recognizing and accepting that the best-case scenario may not happen allows room for growth without having the outcome expected as the only acceptable result.
Poet Henry David Thoreau wrote, “the question is not what you look at, but how you look and whether you see.”
Expectations don’t change our reality — they only affect how we perceive it.
Reality will constantly unfold in ways no expectation could ever fully anticipate. Living based on expectation means chasing a version of life which only exists in imagination, while the real one quickly slips past us.
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Contact Eva Shauriki via email: eva.shauriki@pepperdine.edu