Moral ambiguity, gray areas and romantic country songs all have the same effect: They make me feel itchy. And I’m not talking about the pollen or food allergy kind of itchy (like the kind from hives and eczema, if we are going to get technical with it). I’m thinking of the kind of itchy that starts behind your neck when you are laying in bed.
It’s probably because the little hairs on the back of your neck are pressed against the pillow case, causing some kind of nervous system response, but I took anatomy so long ago that I can’t even pretend to make a scientific argument so I will just say this: I am laying in bed right now, writing this article, because that is just how it goes sometimes and my neck itches and that is how I think about the whole idea of “don’t judge” or, put in a more positive tone, “this is a safe place.”
Also moral ambiguity. Gray areas. Everyone’s opinion is right and even if you are wrong, you are right because you are you and you have an opinion. Everyone is a winner. And yes, romantic country songs make me feel the same way — no relationship to the above topics, strictly incidental correlation.
Let me back up and explain what may seem to you at this point as a manifesto. Perhaps it is indeed a manifesto. Should you be bothered? Probably.
Thus, herein is my thesis (sorry, I wanted to use fancy language for a minute, but sometimes I think that I should use it all the time so people take me more seriously or maybe I should just stop wearing my block-colored fanny pack and take the Happy Birthday from Disneyworld pin off my backpack? Issues of debate, perhaps):
In college, and particularly at this college with its commendable aspirations to love and include, we are told that we should “not judge” and create a “safe space” for people to voice their opinions, ideas, hopes, dreams, etc.
My question: what if these opinions, ideas, passions and the like — what if they just are plain bad? What if the opinions are unfounded, the ideas destructive and the passions misplaced? Are we ultimately obligated to give these people full credibility based solely on the fact that they have value in existence? Is there a way to tell someone they are wrong without the other party feeling “judged”?
For some reason, we, or at least, many persons of the same generation as I, seem to have formed a skittish, sometimes directly antagonistic, attitude towards the idea of “judgment.” We must not judge this person for what he believes. We must not judge this other person for what she wears. We must not judge this group of people because of who they love while at the same time we must not judge this other group of people for saying that the first group of people is wrong.
There is so much we cannot touch, talk about or think about, because to do so would be “judging.”
Yet, I submit this: We are meant to judge. And especially in college, when we are figuring out, well, everything, it would seem in the span of about four years, we must use this time to judge for ourselves. Judge how we will act, speak, dress, eat, spend time, invest. Judging is an action. We have precious little time to complete this action and, truly, it is one we must adamantly pursue.
But how does this work with our culture of non-judgment-everbody-wins-oh-yeah-validate-all-the-opinions? It doesn’t.
To be continued…
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Follow Taylor Nam on Twitter: @nam_nam330
