In the painfully long and awkward tunnel leading from adolescence into adulthood, there are several obligatory rites of passage that shatter one’s childish illusions and leave a jaded shell of a person where there once was starry-eyed wonderment.
We all remember with vivid intensity the day we discovered our parents were Santa Claus or that Barney was really a man in an unconvincing costume running a bizarre day care for parents who will drop their kids off just about anywhere.
As if this isn’t traumatic enough, we go on to find that BFF necklaces are a cruel joke invented by people who enjoy capitalizing on naivety and broken dreams,.
Then, there’s the final blow: discovering the existence of the Electoral College. How are you supposed to respond to a revelation of this magnitude?
When you’re raised in a country this high on patriotism and the power of popular vote, you have a long way to fall. What about all that propaganda urging you to “rock the vote”? Was it just another hollow gesture of reassurance designed to make you feel better about life?
In short: yes, it was. But does it necessarily follow that you should abandon voting altogether?
In order to make this decision less daunting, I have comprised a straightforward pro/con list so you can avoid the uncomfortable task of thinking too much:
Pros of voting:
1. You may experience an overwhelming surge of patriotism as you exercise your democratic right.
2. There is a potential feeling of satisfaction that comes with participating in something that resembles direct democracy. Don’t feel guilty if your thoughts happen to drift to all of the less-awesome countries that simply appoint dictators.
3. You will automatically be granted the license to proclaim your political ideals loudly without accusations of hypocrisy.
4. If you come to hate the decisions made by the president over the course of the next four years (and let’s be honest, you probably will), you will have the license to air those grievances regardless of whether you voted for him. If you did, you can go on about what a disappointment he is. If you didn’t vote for him, you can take it one step further and slam those who did.
Cons of voting:
1. You will have to stand in line for a prolonged period of time, when you could be committing that time to more worthwhile pursuits, like watching television or buying things you don’t need.
2. If you’re not already registered, you’ll have to go out of your way to complete the necessary paperwork. More time that was once pregnant with potential, gone forever.
3. If you choose to vote for the candidate who the majority of your family detests, your holidays might be less pleasant as you attempt to defend your decision to an angry mob of either religious nuts or crazy lefties (fill in the blank accordingly).
And finally, the impact of your vote (and the popular vote as a whole) is questionable considering the Electoral College ultimately determines the outcome of the election.
Whether you take pride in participating in the democratic process, or are simply too disillusioned to go on believing in America, this list will hopefully allow you to sufficiently justify your position. Happy Election Season!
