Good. It’s the beginning of November – must be time to start celebrating Christmas. Well the department stores think so at least.
With big trees and wreaths and lights strung out everywhere their decorations are sure to turn even the most ardent Christmas fan into a Scrooge.
10. Does anyone remember Thanksgiving? Anyone?
9. The sooner this business begins the sooner you have to start buying presents. Actually maybe there is a point to getting started on this early.
8. Do not give in to the idea of a consumerist Christmas. It is what the department stores want us to do.
7. Christmas songs = for December only. Except of course Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” That song is good enough to be played all year.
6. It’s almost as if fall doesn’t even exist. Instead we skip it and hop to winter. Autumn is awesome – let it happen.
5. Rule: Until “A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” is shown on TV and “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” for that matter Christmas festivities are not allowed to commence.
4. Would Jesus really want us to celebrate his birthday this long? It has to get old sometime.
3. Why don’t we just start up on Valentine’s Day next week while we’re at it?
2. “All I want for Christmas is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiviiiing baby!”
1. Christmas is no longer special if you’ve been celebrating it for two months.