Mikey Planeta speaks to a crowd of students and faculty in Elkins Auditorium on March 19. Planeta has been in two reality TV shows: “The Bachelorette” and “Are You My First?” Photos by Kampton Carter
Conversations about love, dating and faith took center stage during Relationship IQ’s March 19 event featuring “The Bachelorette” season 17 contestant Mikey Planeta. In the show, one woman dates multiple men at once, eliminating contestants each week in hopes of getting engaged to the final man by the season’s finale.
Planeta spoke to about 30 students and faculty members about his experiences navigating Christian faith while on reality TV series.
“I don’t really know a lot about reality TV,” Planeta said. “This is not something that I watch. But I remember just thinking to myself, ‘Alright, God, if this is something you want me to do, then I’ll go.’”
Although he did not understand why God called him to be part of the show, Planeta said he decided to listen and follow through. That decision quickly placed him in unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. Before filming began, Planeta spent 13 days isolated in quarantine.
“They take everything: phone, iPads, computers,” Planeta said. “Like, you are cut off from the world.”
With limited distractions, Planeta said he spent much of that time reading his Bible and mentally preparing for what was ahead.
That preparation was tested early in the season. Planeta said one group date was designed around sexual themes, which conflicted with his decision to wait until marriage to have sex.
Instead of being pressured into doing what the producers wanted him to do or leaving the show altogether, Planeta said he spent his time writing a letter to season 17 bachelorette Katie Thurston.
“So I sat there, and I proceeded to read her a letter of why I was waiting,” Planeta said. “She starts bawling. It had been the first time she’d ever been spoken to the way that God actually saw her: as His daughter.”
Planeta said the response showed him honesty could be more powerful than performing for the cameras. After the episode aired in June 2021, he received more than 50,000 direct messages in one week.
“Atheists, Muslims, Hindus, every background,” Planeta said. “And so many of them said, ‘Thank you for standing firm in what you know. Even if I don’t agree with you, I’m just grateful that you stood firm. You show that there was another way.’”
Planeta said modern dating culture can be toxic, rewarding drama over authenticity, and society’s fixation with solving singleness can be a dangerous mindset.
“First and foremost, singleness is not a curse,” Planeta said. “Marriage is not the goal, right? I think that’s what culture tries to sell us on. Marriage is beautiful, and we will get to that, but it is not the goal of the Christian.”
Planeta reads his journal to the Elkins Auditorium audience March 19. Planeta said he reflects on his journal during difficult life situations.
Students at the event said this open conversation helped strengthen their beliefs in a Christian relationship.
“It gave me more of a faith perspective about those relationships,” junior Eriell Duckworth said. “And most of all, [it] gave me a lot of reason and a lot of factual information to kind of build what I already believe.”
Duckworth said she is careful in her own relationships and is seeking a love like the one described in the book of Corinthians.
Dori Lansbach, associate director of Relationship IQ, said the event was designed to help students rethink how they approach dating. When she connected with Planeta about this event, they both spoke about their shared interest in faith and relationships.
“I’m really passionate about people learning how to date well and be intentional,” Lansbach said. “And how to handle singleness not as a punishment, but a gift.”
The event aligned with Relationship IQ’s overarching theme of teaching college students how to navigate relationships in a godly manner, Lansbach said.
Throughout the event, Planeta emphasized the importance of small decisions playing a role in shaping one’s character. Students should remain consistent and firm in their faith, even when placed in uncomfortable situations, Planeta said.
“I hope one day when my wife’s looking back, she’ll be proud of what I did,” Planeta said. “And that God will know that I honored him as well.”
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Contact Cristal Soto via email: cristal.soto@pepperdine.edu