RICHARD NAVA
Staff Writer
Valentine’s Day is here again, a day for the lover and the hopeless romantic. As Pepperdine students reminisce on their ghosts of Valentine’s past, however, it becomes obvious that a day meant for chocolates and flowers, all-too-often turns into a day full of chaos and laughter. The dateless may feel relieved after hearing their peers’ tales marked by unorthodox cleansing rituals, pet-store incidents and trips to the emergency room. In honor of this year’s Valentine’s Day, Pepperdine students shared their most memorable and disastrous stories, proving that being shot by Cupid’s arrow isn’t the only way to have a good time.
Junior Ben Ralston looked back to his high school days for his most memorable Valentine’s Day and remembered a dance he went to with a certain girl he won’t soon forget.
“Well, usually people don’t understand how horribly bad I am at the entire romantic business,” Ralston said. “I always seem to make a mockery of it.”
Ralston asked his girlfriend at the time, Jessica, to a Valentine’s Day dance at school. In honor of tradition, they made reservations for a restaurant beforehand. Ralston had a brilliant idea, however. He decided to take Jessica, an animal lover, to the pet store before dinner.
“Well, she was super excited and thought I was a genius,” Ralston said, “so we went and had a great time and I bought her a Beta fish and she named it after me — how sweet.”
After a thorough hand washing, the cute couple went to dinner. They were having a blast when suddenly, Ralston said they smelled something “horrific.”
“As it turns out, Jess had taken on a little poop on her dress from the Scotty dog we held,” Ralston said.
The doo-doo gets deeper. Not only was it on her dress, but she had managed to smear it all over Ralston’s car seats. They drove to the dance with the windows down, which inevitably messed up her hair, and even after they reached the dance, tokens of the night’s events remained on her dress. She danced all night with wet spots where they had scrubbed the dress clean.
“That’s about the average day of romanticism from me,” Ralston said.
Nothing says romance like animal feces, apparently.
Disastrous dates aren’t the only good stories out there, however. Students without significant others also have their tales to tell. Sophomore Kelly Donovan recalls an occasion when she spent Valentine’s Day with a group of girls on a “No Boys Allowed” outing.
“When I was a young sophomore in high school — yikes, four years ago — anywho, I was without a love no doubt,” Donovan said.
To heal the wounded ego that Valentine’s day brings to the dateless, Donovan decided to join her friends skiing, “to sort of exercise out our sexual anxiety, not that it was that intense, but you know.”
The ski trip included more than exercise. Each of the girls brought a picture of their crush, which they decided to ritually bury in the snow.
“Sort of a cleansing, purity thing you know … kinda weird,” Donovan admitted.
The strange rituals do not end there, however. They each bought undergarments.
“No not a sock, be a bit more creative,” she said.
They tucked the undergarments away, until they were on the lift and the crew threw the risqué undergarments into trees.
“It was for everyone to enjoy, because we obviously had no one to enjoy the undergarments at home,” Donovan said.
Of course there are still those individuals who do manage to see, find and catch that perfect Valentine along with all the perks that come with it. Sophomore Anna-Marie McLaurin had the enviable, cutesy story, complete with the bear, the boy and the whole shebang.
McLaurin, as a tender 14-year-old, came home from school on Valentine’s Day after school and began her daily habit of fixing her hair. All of a sudden, the doorbell rang and her mother said it was for her, she said. Upon walking downstairs, McLaurin said she found one of her guy friends standing at the doorway holding a Teddy bear.
“He gave it to me, and I said thanks a bit awkwardly and said OK, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at school … bye,” she said.
That night McLaurin wrote her surprise visitor a thank you note “because that’s the polite thing to do” and gave it to him the next day.
In the cheesy spirit of junior high, a note exchange ensued. He wrote her a you are welcome note, then she responded once again and told him she appreciated being thought of on Valentine’s Day. Then she asked her Valentine why he purchased a gift.
“He of course wrote me again and said he ‘kinda-sorta’ thought it would let me know that he kinda-sorta liked me,’” she said.
After that, the couple dated for two and a half years.
“Yeah, that was a good Valentine’s Day,” she said.
Junior Holly Stivers’ tops off the all-too-often embarrassing memories with her Valentine’s story. Stiver’s story has it all; romance, chivalry and, of course, medical attention.
Stivers had a Valentine’s Day picnic at the park under a tree with her boyfriend and all the details: blanket, basket, food, flirtation.
“Anyway, I was trying to be all cutesy, so when he wasn’t looking I ran up behind him to jump on his back and kiss him,” Stivers said, “but I forgot that there was a tree overhead.”
Stivers knocked her head on the tree, fell backward and hit the ground. She said that although she only blacked out for a second, “I felt like a retard for like a lifetime.” Stivers also modeled a goose egg on her forehead for a week.
No matter how students choose to spend their Valentine’s Day this year, they should simply remember that nobody needs a “significant other” for a good laugh. They should have fun, stay safe, and of course …watch out for that tree.
02-09-2006
