Con: Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is only a pain and not worth the time.
By Elice Giorgione
Staff Writer
There are two distinct sides to the argument against dating in college. Both views adamantly oppose it; however, the rationales for each perspective vary a great deal.
First scenario, we have Suzy. She lives in a single room, eats alone in the caf, spends every night in the library and studies for tests three weeks in advance. Now, Suzy most definitely should not date. In fact, she should avoid it at all costs. It would utterly detract from her well being as a studious, driven, overzealous high achiever. Imagine this scholarly intellectual, this epitome of academia, squandering away her time on boys and dates and silly romances. Time that could much better be spent reading “The Humanistic Tradition” for Humanities class. The mere thought is appalling.
Next, we have Bobby. He has a girlfriend, Cindy, back home in Wisconsin, and he chats on the phone to her every night. He doesn’t go out too much because when he does, there’s Cindy calling to check up on him and see what he’s up to.
Now obviously it would be quite the challenge for him to go out on dates in the midst of such constant surveillance. That is precisely why, if he does indeed desire a relationship with someone in the same state, he should conduct a covert operation of shady meetings with the hypothetical love interest. The traditional procedure of dating is entirely out of the question.
Now each of these respective contentions have their own merit. And it is clear to see how dating could have grave repercussions upon both of these students’ lives. Poor Suzy would get her first B and Bobby, well, let’s just say he probably wouldn’t want to catch that flight home for the summer if Cindy got wind of his scandalous dating activities.
But Suzy and Bobby aside, the rest of the college population is probably thinking “What about me? Why shouldn’t I date?” Well, I suppose you could if you really wanted to. If you really felt that burning need for companionship and codependence. But then the question remains: Who are you going to date anyway? Basically, when it comes down to it, at any college you’ve got a choice between the players, the self-absorbed egomaniacs, the snobs, the geeks and the ones who are just too homesick for mom’s casserole to even leave the dorm. Not exactly a smorgasbord of prime dating material.
The way I see it, if this phenomena of dating did somehow come to pass, it could potentially end up being just a big pain in the butt. Imagine this. You get out of class and head back to the dorm for a nice pleasant afternoon nap, but as soon as you walk in the door, there’s Mr. Boyfriend calling to talk or to argue or to request the pleasure of your company for the afternoon so you can drive him down to Ralphs. Honestly, what normal human being wants to give up their personal time to go give some silly boy a back rub or play his new Nintendo game with him? It’s ridiculous.
And that’s not even considering the potential disaster your room could become. Just picture him coming over after soccer practice or basketball or PE class, taking his dirty sneakers off, throwing his sweaty T-shirt on your freshly vacuumed and aromatically freshened carpet and then raiding the fridge for your Howdy’s leftovers whose wrapper will end up left on your desk anyway. Yuck. I shudder to think.
And as for the boys, it’s not much better. They’ll end up with their current dating partner nagging them for a romantic dinner at the caf since it’s her favorite – tortellini. Or worse yet, she’ll be begging him to accompany her to Third Street so she can pick out new clothes while he follows her around for hours and carries her shopping bags. Not fun.
And then, of course, there’s always the dreaded risk of an unpredicted age difference. What happens when you hit it off with a fantastic, classy, well-bred girl you meet at The Palace, only to find out the next day that she’s still in high school? Just think of what that could do to your reputation! The horrible consequences of dating are far too severe to even consider participating in this strange ritual during college. My advice for everyone: We’re in Hollywood, so go live your romantic lives vicariously though the movies.
It’s a lot safer.
March 20, 2003
