Dear Grace,
In this post-Halloween pre-Thanksgiving/Christmas phase of the year, how do you recommend staying healthy?
Sincerely,
Winter Worries
Dear Winter Worries,
The holiday season is indeed upon us and with it, a most precarious phase of inevitable weight fluctuation. I write to you from a state of deep sorrow, as I lie in a sizeable heap of empty candy wrappers, having just scoured my cabinets for any remaining signs of a Halloween spent trick-or-treating. Alas, shameful remorse battles utter culinary satisfaction as I wrack my brain for any reason why I should not give in to a 30-pound-weight-gain-binge-eating-fiasco lasting well into March of next year. I urge you, however, to form health and diet accountability groups in this dangerous patch of post-Halloween hopelessness and think of your cholesterol. Here are some varied tips on how to keep your number low this winter:
1. Run out of money:
One constant I’ve truly been able to rely on in life is the perpetually worsening state of my bank balance. Having recently been denied a bag of groceries at Ralph’s due to insufficient funds on my debit, I’ve had to resort to new methods of gathering sustenance. Malibu, although abundant in natural beauty, lacks a certain agricultural landscape conducive to hunting and gathering. Thus, my culinary options depend heavily on what is placed in the tray round-a-bout in the Caf and whatever my roommates don’t eat before the expiration date.
2. Move off-campus:
In conjunction with step No. 1, moving off-campus is a great way to lose weight if indeed one cannot afford gas. Malibu Villas may have seemed like a great idea back in August; they now have the added bonus of providing a five-mile walk to and from class each day. Mix things up: invest in a bike, rollerblades, a long-board or one of those really embarrassing/shady low-to-the-ground bikes. Not only will you be wide awake and ready to go by the time school starts each day, but your morning commute down the gantlet that is southbound PCH will also heighten the intrigue and adventure of your daily routine.
3. Look around you:
I hate to break it to you, but here in Malibu there really is no such thing as “winter weight gain.” The weather keeps us in shorts and flip flops well into December, and the extremely hot and fit people around you will most likely not be getting fat. Control yourself, Hefty Hannah, and stop justifying a dessert binge past 10 p.m. just because you’re at Pie with the Pi Phis. Thanksgiving is just one day-that hardly excuses a 20-pound surplus.
