Anybody noticed the HAWC cafeteria thingy is called the “TBNL Cafe (To-Be-Named-Later)?”
What’s up with that?
I don’t know about you, but to me, when you build yourself an eatery, naming it would seemingly be among the first things on your to-do list. Let’s face it, people aren’t leaving hospitals with babies named TBD or N/A. In fact, they’re not allowed to — it’s literally against the law. So how come these same regulations don’t apply to school dining halls and bistros?
It’s just lazy.
Now, I love Pepperdine. Heck, I’d take a bullet for this school (no, I wouldn’t). But somebody ought to say something. What does it say about our university’s creative ingenuity when our tour guides are bringing families into the HAWC to show them the TBNL Cafe? And — just a quick aside — by naming that place the TBNL Cafe, that’s effectively contradicting the very essence of its title. It doesn’t need to be named later … if that’s its name now.
You may view me as a complainer, but I’m not the only one. A couple of weeks ago, I initiated the Island Oasis SB3X Smoothie Machine Revolution of 2011, and our pina colada-craving voices were heard. I am proud to announce, a mere three to four weeks later, that our beloved machine will be coming back in early January, just in time to quell the cold beverage craze that most certainly will be occurring around that time. So it can be done. Change is possible. You just have to believe … and possibly stand up at random times and places to wave your arms like they’re angel wings (tests still inconclusive).
My fear is that weeks or months will pass without a permanent name change being implemented at the TBNL cafe In the blink of an eye, our children and grandchildren, all of course future Pepperdine students, will be hover-boarding to the HAWC years down the line to grab a bite to eat at the TBNL cafe. We must do everything in our power, now, to avoid this fate. We are all terminators in this scenario, except instead of being dropped somewhere naked in the past, we are all fully clothed and in the present moment.
But forget that analogy. The point I mean to make is that, whether we like it or not, another revolution has sprung itself upon us. And yes, you may not have even known the last one ended (or existed), but it did, and so does this one. The HAWC Cafe Naming Revolution of 2011 is gaining momentum, and pretty soon we’ll all have to choose sides. I don’t want anybody to lose their lives for this cause, but if that’s what it takes, then so be it. Now our best point of recourse moving forward is to get behind one name and bombard the staff members of the TBNL Cafe with requests for the switch. If we all submit a bunch of different names, we will seem discordant, and will indubitably fail. Thankfully, I think I’ve found a name we could all get behind.
Initially calling it the Howard A. White Buffet sounded like the obvious decision, but then I realized that guy has like 40 buildings named after him so I ditched that idea. I then tried to make something work with WHITEcap, but that proved futile. Hours spent fiddling with the term “undertow” also brought with it insignificant results. And that’s when I came up with this: The Undulation Station.
How is this not already the name? It’s punny, it rhymes, it has a word synonymous with our mascot in it, and it even makes sense … sort of. You guys, this is our moment. Forget the fact that I’ve said this tons of times before. We can be the group that changed this school for the better, that led the charge to have the TBNL Cafe renamed The Undulation Station. The moment is now. Whose side are you on?
If you’re still undecided, try to think about your children and grandchildren on hoverboards at the Undulation Station. It’s a beautiful sight.
