LAURA JOHNSON
Assistant Life Editor
To Public Safety: DO NOT READ.
I have a dream that one day I will be able to roll into Pepperdine’s campus and find a parking space quickly and efficiently.As this dream will never be realized during my tenure here, breaking the law is probably the only answer. All there is to say is that we’ve all been there.
10. To be five minutes late for class or 20? That is the question.
9. Living dangerously in every situation just feels so good – even if it is only parking.
8. College is about being creative and broadening your horizons. Nothing is more creative than making up a parking space – up a rock, over a tree, in the middle of the road, whatever – professors should be proud that brains are actually being engaged.
7. In some spaces (especially carpool) there is a 90 percent chance you will NOT get caught.
6. Pamela Anderson does it when she comes on campus because, like the rest of us, she can’t find any parking.
5. The little papers that the parking tickets are printed on are perfect for rolling up… cigarettes.
4. Fire lanes, shmire lanes. How often is there a fire anyway? Dogs are more likely to use the fire hydrant here than a fireman is. What’s the big deal in blocking one?
3. Stick it to the man. ERRR. Or whoever it was who invented restricted parking. ERRR.
2. Even Jesus, who would of course drive a hybrid Toyota Prius, would be forced to illegally park on this campus.
1. Your daddy is paying for the ticket anyway.
04-03-2008
