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Random Thoughts: ‘Waterboy’ could pay for new arena

February 13, 2003 by Pepperdine Graphic

By James Riswick
Staff Writer 

James Riswick - Staff WriterTo begin, the sophomore convicted of using a fake ID at Ralphs must pay $405 in fines, serve 36 months probation and attend one meeting each of alcoholics anonymous, narcotics anonymous, cocaine anonymous and one other recovery program, and then one additional meeting of a recovery program of his choice.

In the words of a friend, “that’s lame bro.” Indeed, I don’t recall Nancy or Harry selling that type of coke. Talk about going a little over the top.

But anyway, on to business. There are few things we need in life. We need food, water, plus a few other things like air.

Then there’s the stuff we want. I want an Aston Martin, a toilet made out of solid gold, a 50-foot TV theater in my basement, a castle on a Norwegian fjord, Britney Spears, the Toronto Blue Jays to win the World Series and a lifetime supply of schnitzel.

So where am I going with this? Well, at Pepperdine there are things we need and things we want as well. Instead of money going to new on-campus housing and parking, we get palm trees, Christopher Columbuses and apartments 30 minutes away.

Instead of complaining about how the university spends its money or the money of wealthy donors I’m going, to offer an idea for future zany additions to Pepperdine.

In an effort to boost the popularity and attractiveness of Pepperdine’s basketball program, I suggest building a brand-new arena. I can hear Coach Paul Westphal cheering already at this one.

Would Adam Sandler be willing to donate for the construction of a new basketball arena?It doesn’t have to be much bigger than the one we have now, at least capacity-wise. Seats should wrap completely around the floor and there should be a real hanging scoreboard with replay capability. No more gazing down at the Fox Sports commentators’ tiny TV screens.

Also, it would be designed and equipped for concerts. Nothing outlandish though, just something that feels a little less like my high school gym.

The new arena would sit atop the current site of the Fieldhouse parking lot with part of it underground, all sitting atop a two-layer parking garage. If we had some money left over, a monorail would be built from Dorm Road and Towers down to the new arena.

But where would we get this money? How does the Adam Sandler Arena sound? Sure beats the Jenny Craig Pavilion in San Diego, and Mr. Sandler must have some extra cash lying around … Heck, we’ll even let him start against Portland.

That doesn’t sound so outlandish does it? OK, maybe the monorail does.

But although these ideas aren’t entirely my own – the Sandler bit was from the mind of Riptide TV’s Drew Hoff – I’d say they’re pretty good ones.

But if we can’t get a new arena for basketball games, how about another idea? Give Convo credit for big sporting events such as basketball games. It’ll bring people together and it’s not that much to ask, certainly not as much as say, a toilet made out of solid gold.

— Do you want to join James Riswick in asking Adam Sandler for a new basketball arena?  E -mail James at jriz29@hotmail.com.

February 13, 2003

Filed Under: Perspectives

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