Everyone has that thing they’ve always wanted to try but have never actually attempted. For me, it was paintballing. I put it off and life went on but, I carried a paintball-sized hole in my heart. Excuses (money), fears (doesn’t it hurt?) and laziness (Netflix) got in the way. It’s easy to put off things that take you out of your comfort zone but during break I decided to step up and bought my brother and me a game. What better way to bond than shooting a bunch of strangers with bright paint? Hunter saw the bonding opportunity too, just not with me. He was bro-scouting and deserted me for some dudes. Bros before sisters, apparently. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
When we first pulled in, I was giddy with visions of secret agent stealth. Then I saw the parking lot packed with bulky guys in special uniforms with expensive, hardcore guns. I searched for another girl. Searched again. I was one of two girls in the entire mob.
My mom had tagged along to take pictures and as we waited in line for our equipment, she turned and asked a group of serious paintball players, “You guys wouldn’t shoot a girl, right?” My stomach dropped. I do a pretty good job making myself seem uncool. I don’t need anyone else’s help.
The guys laughed in a dark and sinister way and assured her they would. “It’s her first time!” She protested cheerfully. I think (I’ve worked to repress it, so I can’t be sure) she actually used the phrase “my baby.”
“Mom. You’re aware that you just erected a huge target on my back, right?”
Then, to further identify us as newbies, we were given huge, shapeless jumpsuits. I felt so sexy.
Waiting to enter the grounds, images of being shot by “real” paintballers swirled in my head. Then, the picture of cocky swaggered past us: a player with gun in hand and shirt nowhere to be seen.
The game began; at first I hesitated, spending most of the time hiding behind a blockade, afraid of getting hit. But it turns out that avoiding getting hurt also means avoiding excitement. So I decided to play the way that seemed the most fun to me: with lots of running and crouching and rolling and shooting. Did I play skillfully? No. Did I get shot almost instantly? Yes. But I played, dang it.
It came time for our last game and I had twice as many paintballs as Hunter, so I gave him a generous helping of mine. Using him as a giant human shield, I went into enemy territory. Then bam — he was shot in the heart and left me dodging and zipping across the field, firing along the way. I made it to the castle and dove for cover. Then the ref informed me that I could go no further for safety reasons. Around the curve of the castle, four or five enemies lurked. I took careful aim and nothing. I aimed again. Still nothing. I was out of bullets. Curse my kindness! Hunter was probably somewhere, shooting all of my paintballs. Moral of the story: Generosity leads to certain death and nothing marks a well spent moment like bravery, even when you just summon it to try something new.
