Gabe Durham
Staff Writer
Since Evelyn wrote a column last week about a friend who name-drops all the time, I thought, “What a good chance to set my own record straight.”
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t really know that many celebrities. I mean, of course I have an inner circle of A-list actors and directors, but it isn’t nearly as big as you’d think.
Just the other night, Eddie Murphy was blabbing to Jay Leno about how Gabe Durham attended his “‘Shrek 2’-sold-a-billion-copies” party, and I can honestly say that I’ve never met the man. As a rule, I don’t go to the big Hollywood parties. It’s way too much about seeing and being seen, and that’s not what I’m about.
But, speaking of movies, the fact that “Finding Neverland” is celebrating its 30th consecutive week at the Malibu twin theatre makes me think that it must be Oscar season. Or maybe they’re just getting lazy. Either way, here are a few of my personal thoughts on the Oscars:
1. “The Incredibles” needs to win the Best Animated category. Besides being one of the funniest movies of the year, it had strong, sophisticated themes, amazing visuals, good voice acting and complex characters. My goodness, I’d even toss it in there among the Best Picture contenders.
2. If Counting Crows win an Oscar for “Accidentally in Love” from “Shrek 2,” I’m going to punch a kitten. It’s one of the worst songs of Adam Duritz’ career. To be honest, I don’t think we’re ever going to get another “Murder of One” or “I’m Not Sleeping” from those guys ever again. They’ve fallen too deep into the pop-rock pit.
3. I should see “The Aviator” and “Ray,” shouldn’t I? But those movies are so long, and I don’t even know many of Ray Charles’ songs, and I’m a little tired…
4. Wal-Mart expanded the term “immediate family” to recognize domestic partnerships and civil unions. Clearly the Wal-Mart execs have been brainwashed by that “Spongebob Squarepants” video that has been corrupting our schools. Maybe the right will boycott Wal-Mart because Wal-Mart supports gay people, and the left will boycott because Wal-Mart is an impersonal giant corporation that crushes entire communities with a single store. But with such low, low prices, I doubt it. What were we discussing? Ah, yes, the Oscars.
5. Jamie Foxx’s nomination for Best Supporting Actor in “Collateral” makes for the loosest definition of “supporting actor” I’ve ever heard. Apparently “supporting” can simply mean “in a movie with Tom Cruise,” even though Jamie Foxx is the main character.
6. If “Tupac: Resurrection” wins Best Documentary, it would be a great chance for Tupac to come out of hiding to accept the award and promote his new album.
On a personal note, I hope Chris Rock doesn’t roast me too badly come awards night. It’s tough being in the spotlight. Maybe I deserve the abuse, though. Have you seen me dance? I’m so white!
02-03-2005
