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Only in a Memory by Sam Nolan

May 2, 2021 by Sam Nolan

How do you rebuild a relationship

To someone who has forgotten its entirety

Where mental illness has shoved and forced

And replaced your memory with its pain

 

Should I start with my name

That crumbles like broken clay

When it crosses my mind

Because it was yours, too

 

Do I begin with November

When it felt like bone cracking in my chest

As I sobbed alone in the choir room

After your first attempt

 

My silent promise

Backed with 16-year-old determination

Vowed to show that you are loved

That life is worth living

 

How do I attempt to conjure up

Our hour-long walks at the island

With you pulling my hand to

Climb the gnarled driftwood

 

Could I even muster up the words

To tell you that the guitar in my corner

Reminds me of how your hands tentatively

Moved across the same glossy exterior

 

Should I show you the videos of us

Sick with dizziness at midnight

As we spun endlessly

On a long forgotten merry-go-round

 

I have scoured the depths of language

But watch the words petrify in amber

As I perpetually fall short of

Reviving who we once were

_______________________

Email Sam Nolan: Samantha.nolan@pepperdine.edu

Follow Currents Magazine on Twitter: @PeppCurrents and Instagram: @currentsmagazine

Filed Under: Currents, Spring 2021: Beauty From Ashes Tagged With: Currents 2021, poem, poetry, relationships, sam nolan, spring 2021

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