AMY LARSON
Staff Writer
There’s a pretty serious sickness going around. It’s an addiction, really. What’s tricky is that you might not even recognize you have it until it has progressed greatly and taken over many parts of your daily life. It doesn’t require antibiotics or therapy; we are the only ones who can choose to heal ourselves. Me, you, your roommate – we all have it, and it affects every one of us multiple times daily.
This ailment is our need for other people’s affirmation and approval. It’s a compulsion, and most of us don’t even realize that it is something for which we are constantly working. This goes far beyond the mere “peer pressure” we learned about in middle school; this is an obligation of sorts– we crave it and are not satisfied without it.
Perhaps you’re convinced you’re immune to this infirmity, but you are almost certainly wrong. I think we can all recall times when we were able, but unwilling, to say something, to stand up for something or someone, or to correct a wrong. Our pride gets in the way. If we didn’t care about what others thought, we’d give a lot less thought to our ensemble each morning before class, be less quick to tell others about our amazing achievements or hilarious stories, and would do what was right regardless of the situation – simply because we knew it was right.
Please understand that I am not pointing the finger. I, too, have been just as impacted by this addiction. I find myself showing it in subtle ways – mentioning a band that I know no one else has heard of, telling old tennis stories from high school.
I know this seems like it’s just a part of everyday life, but I submit to you that it is a millstone of sorts – one that weighs us down immensely. I have heard so many people say that what other people think does not matter, but is that how we live? We must not really believe that widely spoken statement as truth; we certainly don’t apply it in our lives.
Only recently have I recognized how much I like to be liked. I appreciate when people think I am funny or smart or want to be around me. When we love that affirmation from others that it becomes an issue. I am learning that God’s acceptance is enough, and accepting that I am known by God is far more comforting than realizing that a certain number of people know your name.
We seek money and fame, and we want to be well-known; we spend our lives working for these things so our status, or assets, or prestige will be acceptable to others when our life is over; then we can really feel like we’ve accomplished something, right?
Romans 2:29 talks about allowing God to change our hearts into ones that seek praise from God, not from people. In all we do, we should be aiming for kudos from God, not the people around us. Galatians 1:10 says that if we spend our lives with the goal of pleasing people, we are not Christ’s servants– a pretty hefty toll for something we often may not even realize we’re doing.
What are you involved in? What do you focus a majority of your attention on? Who are the people that you allow into your life the most? Once you’ve answered these questions, ask yourself why. Why do you hold that leadership position? Is it because you like to be seen and want to be recognized, or because you are trying to glorify God?
I have only recently seen how much this plague has spread throughout my life. I have found that part of my cure is intentionally withdrawing from things I know will bring me recognition or some sort of high regard from others – at least until I recognize how useless those things are.
02-07-2008
