Hollywood Report
By Elice Giorgione
Staff Writer
If you’re anything like the typical college student, you most likely spend a good deal of time in front of the computer surfing the Internet.
There’s just something about the dorm room that draws me to my laptop at least once an hour. I suppose the computer at times feels kind of like my lifeline to the outside world when I’m in school. So that justifies my spending almost every waking week-day moment in front of it when I’m not eating, sleeping or in class, right? Now this is not to say that I don’t have better things to do. Although actually, come to think of it…
Now on another note, if you’re anything like the typical Los Angelino (native or transplant), the entertainment world is very much a part of your immediate culture. I mean, it’s practically right there at all of our disposals. It is inevitable living so close to Hollywood that you will be inundated with celebrity gossip, surrounded by references to actors and producers and directors and barraged with awards shows, film festivals and movie premieres galore. And living specifically here in Malibu, right smack in the central hub of all things rich, famous and beautiful, it’s also almost a certainty that you will run into your fair share of celebrities throughout the years.
So combine the two – typical computer savvy college students living in the mecca of celebrity adulation – and it’s all but impossible not to spend at least some of your time reading about celebrities online. With the media’s influence piquing our curiosity with scandalous tales, rumors and gossip, who can help but have a natural interest? After all, we should be well informed about our community and our neighbors, shouldn’t we?
But there is another reason many people have sites like the Internet Movie Database (IMDb) tagged as favorites – the message boards within them. On those long pre-exam nights when you’ll do anything to distract yourself from studying for a while, there’s nothing quite like mindlessly wasting away the hours reading all about what faceless screen-names think about some of Hollywood’s most beloved and most detested. In fact, I’ve found that it’s quite easy to loose all track of time by getting caught up in a thread about why (insert name here) is either the most phenomenal star to ever grace the screen or just sucks like no other.
What I’ve found most amusing in my visits to such forums is the fact that although the presence of a celebrity message board may lead you to believe that only people who appreciate said celebrity will frequent it, the reality is that an onslaught of people who actually despise that celebrity find nothing better to do with their time than to waste it trying to shake things up and upset fans by writing posts entitled things like ’10 reaZONS (insert name here) is Da wors aCtOr an humen beeng EVR!’
Following the initial post is a predictable and almost formularized response pattern. First, said celebrity’s crazed fans come to their defense immediately. They make valiant efforts to debunk the accusations of the traitor (sometimes with valid arguments, but often not) and then accuse them of having no life for posting on the forum of a celebrity whom they hate. Next round brings out the backup forces – the people who feel the need to defend the original poster by insisting that this is a “discussion” board, and as discussion is a neutral word, it is acceptable for people to post both in an appreciative or disrespectful manner about (insert name here).
And thus it goes on and on, back and forth. It’s really quite pathetic, but somehow also hypnotically mesmerizing, kind of like “Barney” reruns or those infomercials for the ‘Juicetastic Juice Juicer” that air at 2 a.m. on TNT. These celebrity “flame wars” as they’re called, however predictable and formulaic they may be, make for some pretty good insult-your-own-intelligence kind of reading. And at the very least, it gives you something to scoff at on top of your homework.
Submitted April 1, 2004