SHUHEI MATSUO
Assistant Online Editor
You are probably sick of this topic by now, but who said a sports junkie can’t write about Valentine’s Day?
This special day for couples may provide much happiness and love, but it also makes some people insecure because it raises more “what if” questions than any other day of the year.
“What if my boyfriend and I get into a fight the night before? What if he is really mad at me and cancels the reservation at Chart House?”
“What if I can’t get out of the 6 to 10 o’clock class? Does that mean we are going to have to settle with a Valentine’s lunch at Howdy’s?”
“What if zits break out all over my face that day? I really hope he made a reservation at Geoffrey’s and won’t light up too many candles at his place afterward.”
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, ladies. I’ve been there.
In the United States, Valentine’s is the ONLY day of the year men demonstrate their chivalry to their loved one (that’s why it’s so special, right?) But in Japan, it is the day that women show their emotional feelings by giving chocolate to their man. Since most elementary and middle school kids are not in a committed relationship, it is a surprising day to see who gets chocolate from whom. Studs often get more than one, but losers don’t even get any.
While growing up in Japan, I hated Valentine’s Day, or even the whole week, because I couldn’t think of anything but those “what if” questions.
“What if I don’t get any chocolate? Should I just not come to school for a while?”
“Or even if I do, what if I don’t really like the girl? Can I just give it back to her?”
“Or what if the chocolate doesn’t taste good? Should I recommend her to take some cooking lessons?”
And this is only the half of it.
The worst part of the Japanese Valentine’s Day is that men must return the favor on March 14, or what they call White Day. This gives us another month to come up with more questions:
“What if I don’t know what to give? Should I ask Mom for an opinion?”
“What if March 14 is on a weekend this year? Does that mean I have to go to her house and possibly meet the parents?”
“What if I just decided not to do this? Would that be socially unethical?”
I hated this time of the year because I couldn’t find answers to these “what if” questions.
Maybe that’s why I’m stuck with the sports section. Yeah, forget love. I only have answers to those sports “what if” questions.
Let’s take Pepperdine sports.
What if Pepperdine still had a football team? Sure, the desirability to come to the university would increase, but the bookstore would have a difficult time selling those “Still Undefeated” sweatshirts.
What if Pepperdine didn’t have the water polo and swimming teams? Well, you would miss seeing those fit men and women in Speedos, but the pool would need a lot less chlorine and it wouldn’t be as yellow.
What if the baseball team didn’t even exist? You probably wouldn’t see Pam Anderson on campus again.
What if the female tennis players stopped screaming every time they smacked the ball during practice? Some students, especially those who live on lower dorm road, might lose their mid-afternoon hobby lying on the grass outside.
What if we had golf courses near campus, rather than 40 minutes away? The golf teams would save a ton of money with gas, which might reduce the rate of global warming.
What if men’s tennis and women’s golf teams only had American players? The international student body at Pepperdine would probably decrease by 50 percent.
What if we just stopped our men’s basketball program? What, would that change anything?
OK, that was a bit harsh.
So what if Derek Sedam’s wish actually came true and Bob Knight fell in love with our basketball team?
Oh, wait. Can’t answer any love-related questions.
02-14-2008