I’m going to let you into the inner sanctum of my soul for a moment. I will let you peer into the vulnerable part of me that I do not often let others see. Pay close attention as I reveal an experience to you that causes me a little embarrassment frustration and plays into my insecurities.
While at the gym recently a fellow Pepperdine student made the comment that my body is less than ideal. He was actually much more specific about what part of my body is not up to his standards of attractiveness but I’ll spare you the details. As he said this to his friend less than an arm’s length away from me I felt like a ton of bricks had fallen on my chest. As a young woman in this superficial plastic surgery-filled era the last thing I expect or need is my brother in Christ and my Wave family member being yet another force telling me I am not good enough the way I am.
Contrast my experience with that of one of my close friends who offhandedly criticized her physical appearance in front of a male classmate and was promptly corrected. As my friend recounted the interaction I was struck by the classmate’s view that when we criticize ourselves we criticize both how God made us and His artistic abilities.
As I reflected upon the two instances one where a guy made a comment that further adds to my struggle with body image and another where a guy tried to encourage his friend and sister in Christ to fight against the modern beauty ideals I had an epiphany an “ah ha moment if you want to bring an Oprah quote into the discussion.
I suggest that the majority of guys would not consider themselves involved in the body image epidemic on campus. This mindset is deeply flawed.
As women, we know we have a problem. Whether or not we truly understand it, we know that the One who hand-paints the sunsets also handcrafted us in His image. We have discussions with our friends, women’s only” convos and small groups to encourage us to develop a healthier body image. The problem is not awareness on our part but rather genuinely living out the truths about how we were created. We’re working on that. The real issue is that guys do not realize the role that they play in our battle against society’s unattainable “beauty” ideal. The convos and small groups are helpful but what we really need are men in our court.
We cannot continue like this. We will never win this battle unless men understand the crucial role they play in the problem. Our campus’ eating disorder rates rival those at big state schools. If we were truly applying our Christ-centered education to every facet of our lives our statistic would be dramatically lower than those of other schools.
We live in a society where women are bombarded with messages every day telling them that only once they starve themselves get plastic surgery or airbrush their photographs are they attractive and beautiful. And frankly it is the responsibility of men to help change this.
As young women we are constantly fighting against society’s ideals of beauty and the idea that our value stems from how well we conform to that ideal. Studies have shown that 3-year-olds are already concerned with being thin and they provide a glaring warning that we are losing this fight. I can tell you honestly that we will not win the battle if we do not have guys fighting on our side.
Scripture calls us to lay down our lives for one another. It calls men to love women the way Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5). When I look around at the young women struggling around me because it’s swimsuit season or when I experience a guy calling me fat at the gym I am struck by the way men are falling short of the way they are called to live.
Men we need your help. Without you on our side we will continue starving ourselves agonizing about our appearances and finding our worth in the numbers on the scale.
We need you to step away from beauty as seen on airbrushed magazine covers and step towards encouraging us and supporting us. We need you to affirm us — not just in our physical appearance but in other ways as well. Do you respect the way one of your girl friends (the space between those words is intentional) serves others? Tell her. Do you appreciate the way your girlfriend listens when you have a tough day and need to vent? Let her know.
Through affirmation of our character we will grow more secure in our self-worth in Christ. In turn we will also gain confidence in ourselves. Before continuing we must touch on the fine line to walk between affirmation to encourage and affirmation to give self-worth. Sisters we cannot depend on guys to tell us of our self-worth. Christ does so when He says “You are mine throughout Scripture. Nothing anyone says can ever change that. My argument is that guys need to echo what Scripture tells us, not reiterate what society says.
Our brothers in Christ need to realize their role in the body image epidemic. It is time for our brothers to value biblical ideals rather than what society and culture falsely elevate. It is time for our brothers to join the fight on our side of the battle lines against this fatal problem.
•http://www.livescience.com/8984-preschool-girls-favor-thin-study-finds.html
This is the link to the 3-year-old thin study — a Pepperdine professor actually created the study.