Love— it’s a word that gets thrown around a lot in our society. We are fond of proclaiming our love for anything and everything; from our favorite sports team to a greasy fast food entree a dead musician to that cute pair of boots sitting in the closet. Though I very much doubt any of us possess a deep and heartfelt commitment to any of these trivial things we say it all the same— it’s simply become the cultural norm. We’ve successfully reduced the declaration of love to a figure of speech nearly synonymous with “Dude that’s cool!”
At the same time we like to toss about this precious word at almost everything inanimate we tend to do quite the opposite with people. Now don’t jump the gun— guys I’m not gearing up to advise you to call your girlfriend of a week as soon as you put this article down and tell her how much you love her. That kind of behavior is actually far from wise and an even worse example of throwing the word around haphazardly (not to mention would most likely be considered by her to be borderline psychotic). I’m talking about those people you truly love in a deep and lasting way; the ones who should already know and hear it every day— your family your closest friends.
About once every few weeks I make yet another resolution to remedy the misuse of this term in my own life— to never again use it in reference to something inanimate and to use it more frequently in reference to the wonderful people around me. But inevitably my cultural conditioning eventually takes over and I will subconsciously blurt out how much I “love” hitting the trails with my mountain bike or the latest punchy line on someone’s political blog. Worse I will go through an entire week and numerous encounters with my closest friends and never let any of them know how much his or her presence in my life means to me. Inevitably I will feel like a failure and inevitably I will make the same resolution again. But I hope that for at least the days I succeed those around me know just how important they are.
Perhaps a large reason why it is so easy to fall back into this misuse is the insufficiency of the English language. We have only one word that has come to describe our feelings toward things as radically different as that latest indie film and a human being. Other languages have many different words for variations on “like” and “love” that more adequately express specific emotions degrees of interest and aspects of love. Ancient Greek has at least five different words we translate simply as “love.” In the New Testament several of these diverse terms are used to denote varying types of commitments and feelings we tend to lump under an umbrella in English— agape for unconditional love phileos for brotherly love eros for sexual attraction. And of course while we see that God “loves” his creation in a multitude of senses we know he would never “love” in any way that new Gucci bag you just bought.
Despite the deficiencies of our language though the brunt of the blame for this cultural dilemma falls on those who have created the culture— the collective “us.” Instead of continuing to devalue “love” by its petty use to the point where it seems to lose its deepest meanings we should instead make the attempt to keep it sacred no matter how short we may fall of that goal. You know no matter how good that Chipotle burrito is you just don’t have a deep emotional commitment to it; so don’t say you do. And no matter how much you enjoy singing dancing playing a sport or getting that A maybe just say you are passionate about it instead of reaching for that old empty standby. Reserve “love” for the people you care about for animate beings who have the ability to return that love.
But maybe we should look beyond mere overused words. Instead of spouting off empty epithets in the hopes of conveying deeper meaning why not let our actions speak far louder than our words? Spend a bit more time with your closest friend or do something kind for your parents. Focus a little less on looking for that perfect new pair of jeans or obsessing over the stats of your favorite athlete. Prove what it is you truly love; not just in words but in actions.