We are all aware of the virus sweeping through universities and high schools all over our country— H1N1 also known as the “swine flu” before the pork industry oinked up about the moniker. Now I personally grew sick and tired of all the attention and media hype that this so-called “epidemic” was receiving. I mean I’d like to hear a little less “swine scare” and a little more “Kanye versus Taylor.” But as any committed columnist would do I immersed myself in the subject matter. Yes I have the swine flu. This is my story.
After a night of sweaty hysteria and croupy coughing I visited the Pepperdine Health Center. I told the receptionist that I was running a fever and felt very ill. Much to my dismay I was forced to wait not being promised an appointment. After what seemed to be an eternity of dizzy anticipation I was called to meet with a doctor. Upon thorough examination the doctor confirmed the news— I Ben Kryder was diagnosed with “the swine.”
And oh how my world turned in that moment! Instead of nervously waiting in a hot and noisy waiting room I was pampered with all the amenities I could ask for— Tylenol Gatorade cold medicine cool surgical masks and even a ride back to my dorm from campus security.
I couldn’t believe my eyes; in just minutes I had gone from being almost turned away from the doctor to being escorted by Todd the security guard with a bagful of goodies to take with me. I thought to myself “Why doesn’t everyone get swine flu?” And then everything changed.
Suddenly I realized that the fleeting moments of sympathy and concern would soon be replaced by the pain of ostracism the sorrow of loneliness and the reality of life in the margins. As I walked to my room I could tell that the news had already spread. Doors slammed shut and once cordial suitemates peeked out from their sterile quarters. I thought “What have I become? I’m a monster!”
I may as well have worn a giant scarlet S sewn on my shirt. Yes I Hester have walked the scaffold of shame and done my penance. Under doctor’s orders I was to be quarantined in my room for up to four days— four days of misery!
These days were to be my imprisonment my time of contrition and remorse for the wrong that I did in contracting the H1N1 virus. And nothing will make a man examine his life like watching four hours of “Full House” reruns.
Sure friends stopped by time to time to drop off whatever porridge was served in the Caf that day. And though my physical nourishment may have been sufficiently sustained my hunger for emotional interaction was rampant. Someone would duck their head in and offer a quick “How ya doin’?” but I could see the disgust on their face. They were really thinking “How could you Ben? How could you come down with the swine flu?” And I was once more left alone to ponder that very question.
But I have come to an epiphany. Perhaps I have done nothing to deserve this wretched state I’m in. Maybe I am the victim. That’s right. What if I am being victimized by the privileges of the healthy? I am being attacked by prejudices and injustices of sickism! I call this campus to be a beacon of light to the sick and a place of refuge where the ill do not have to be ashamed.
I dream of a campus where rather than pointing fingers we serve even those with the swine. I have walked the walk of the unwell and I say Pepperdine let us not scorn the valley of the sick but be a harbor for the hurting. Because I know that “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal and no sickness can denigrate the power of equality! I say, friends, we shall be granted certain inalienable rights and among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of healthiness! I leave you, my friends, with a slight adaptation of Langston Hughes’ celebrated work:
Rest at Pale Evening… A Tall Slim Tree… Night coming tenderly Sick like me.
The Graphic would like to alert its readers to the comedic nature of this weekly column. Statements and suggestions made here are satirical and not intended to be representative of either the Graphic or Pepperdine University’s official policies on any topic.
