Dear Grace,
I am a new Wave, and I LOVE it so far. The only thing is, I don’t think I brought any of the right clothes. You see, I’m from the Midwest (specifically Ohio), and fashion has just never been my forte. Since coming here, however, I’ve noticed a serious upgrade in terms of on-campus clothing trends. Any advice on how I can step up my game?
Sincerely,
Denim Mini Skirt
Dear Denim Disaster,
I think I’ve seen you around campus and not in a good way. As it seems you are literally building your wardrobe from the ground up and while I am hardly a Pepperdine fashion icon, I will attempt to boil on-campus style down to the lowest common denominator.
In the event that you’re a boy, let me dispel any lingering doubts you may have regarding male exemption from current trends. Here at Pepperdine, you’re expected to look good regardless of gender. Boys can generally manage by categorizing themselves as one of the following: the Cali Bro, the Hipster Bro and the Texan Frat Star.
Only subtle differences distinguish the Cali bro from the Hipster, as both rely heavily on a foundation of at least four flannels and five $48 American Apparel tanks — three striped, two solid. Fitted jeans and corduroy cutoffs are a necessity for both; disparity appears only when considering accessories, hairstyles and choice of Target graphic tees. Footwear is primarily limited to Vans, Converse for the hipsters, destroyed loafers and Nike Frees if you’re totally clueless.
The Texan Frat Star has less wiggle room and can be spotted wearing Croakies, short-sleeved pastel oxford shirts and Sperrys. He often sits alone, posting inflammatory Republican Facebook statuses, sporting fraternity letters and driving a black Jeep.
The intricacies of female fashion here at Pepperdine are far more nuanced. While I hate to condone the on-campus prevalence of “homeless chic,” I urge you to look around. The primary aim of any Pepperdine girl worth knowing is to appear as much like a circus tent as possible, a look achieved by the strategic incorporation of entire bolts of gauzy, translucent fabric into one outfit. Consider each yard of material an additional style point — three for a maxi skirt, two for a loose-knit gauzy sweater and two more in a lightweight scarf. Ten points for an embellished denim vest. Do you yearn to be original? Invest in a pair of black, “destroyed alternative” Steve Madden combats.
To my denim disaster, I urge you to keep it simple. One must be strategically unnoticeable when one lacks a certain refinement.