By CAROLYN SIMPSON & AMANDA LUCAS
Staff Writers
Let’s be honest, no upperclassman likes to cook. Even if that were true, they are diligently studying or saving money to pay back immense loans. Needless to say, they don’t always have time or money for such petty concerns as making dinner. OK fine, it could just be that students are l-ay-z-zy. But, there is no need to go hungry any longer with these simple and non-time consuming ways to grab a free meal at least once a week.
Eat a huge breakfast. Or even better, eat oatmeal, the true breakfast of champions that will keep you full for hours. Eat it as late as possible before you have to leave for class. These How To tactics may work, but they are not 100 percent successful, even for the most bold and daring. This way, in case that free lunch remains elusive, as you develop the following skills you can still go to an early dinner and just feel like you were more cost effective by skipping a meal. Know that success is on the horizon.
Befriend HCL members and underclassmen. RAs of freshmen dorms are always willing to exchange meal points for that home-cooked meal you promise to give them in the not-so-near future. And everyone knows the skinny freshman girls never use all their points in fear of gaining the infamous “Freshman 15.” If necessary, you can always fill a tray, stand in line, and stick to the “I forgot my card in my room” ploy. Since Pepperdine students are naturally kind-hearted and concerned about the well-being of their fellow students, with the right pout on your face, someone will be willing to foot the bill. If this plot looks difficult, ask for your meal in a to-go box and be ready to run fast.
Start a tradition. Tell your friends that one night each week one of you will cook dinner for your close group of friends. Just make sure this week isn’t your week, or next week, and then you could be “sick” the week after that …You’re guaranteed a night of food and fellowship, followed by card games and sometimes even a movie for you lucky few with no classes in the morning. Better yet, just show up at your friends’ apartment and tell them you distinctly remember them inviting you, but they must have forgotten during the day’s chaos. Truth is subjective.
Drastic times call for drastic measures. Try dating. This may sound foreign to Pepperdine students, but it can be done and is relatively painless. Guys, tell girls you believe in equal rights, as in they have the equal right to buy you dinner. Girls, just be direct and tell a guy he wants to buy you dinner. He’ll appreciate the authority you’ve acquired as a modern woman. You’d be surprised how many times this works. Who knows, you could wind up finding true love and hearing wedding bells in Stauffer Chapel. Just think of the incredible story you can tell your children about how you found your soul mate while trying to manipulate them for a free meal. What romance, what passion. Or more simply, date an underclassman that has meal points. At this point, maturity levels are also subjective.
Become involved in on campus events. Many student organizations and jobs on campus provide meals at meetings and conferences. Check out your student-life calendar for In-and-Out at athletic events, coffeehouses and other great get togethers. Since turnout for weekend events is often, shall we say, low past experience has taught us that you may even get to take home some leftover granola bars, cake or Red Bulls.
When all else fails, remember that Costco always has free samples. If you don’t have a card, just walk in with the family in front of you and act like you belong with them. No one will question the biological authenticity of your “family” if you have confidence and loudly state something along the lines of, “Hey Dad, don’t forget the bagel bites.” Then again, silence is golden and may salvage any remaining dignity you have left.
Good luck and bon appetit. Caution, you might want to abandon these methods upon graduation. They are likely to be frowned upon in the real world and society at large.
02-16-2006
