CARA VANMETER
Living Editor
Though the origins of April Fool’s Day are widely debated, no one will deny that April 1 has long signaled a day full of tomfoolery and practical jokes that blur the lines between friends and enemies for at least a few hours. This year, you can join in on the fun and merriment by following five steps to ensure that your pranks will not be the lamest on campus.
This step is vitally important for the success of your masterful prank. Know who you’re up against. If this is your first year to join in the April Fool’s festivities, start small. Don’t pick on the experienced prankster down the hall. Instead, look for a more level playing field. The reverse is true for those black belt level practical jokers: pick on someone your own size. Don’t plot your opus against a prank virgin. They won’t appreciate all your hard work and ingenuity. And certainly don’t prey on someone with no sense of humor. They are far too likely to a) turn you in, b) never talk to you again, and/or c) cry, which can be a far worse fate even than options a and b.
Once you’ve chosen a target, be careful to act naturally around them. Don’t mention or even hint at the upcoming holiday. Don’t ask weird questions (unless this is what your relationship is normally based on anyway), and don’t let them catch wind of your practical joke preparations. It’s best not to let others in on the secret either unless they are working with you. Pranks work best as complete surprises. In fact, that’s really the only way they work.
Research is key to pulling off a masterful hoax. You need to know as much as possible about your target: schedule, routine, habits, pet peeves, quirks, roommates, pre-Pepperdine background, and of course their typical routes to class, work and home. You should accrue this information subtly and without stalking your target, so as not to raise their defenses. It’s also important to know if your target has any real phobias or traumatic experiences lurking in their past. This is important: Avoid triggering these phobias at all costs. A truly masterful prankster knows where to draw the line and never crosses it. Ideally, your target should be someone you already know pretty well, because this expedites and simplifies the entire process. Besides, it’s just a little creepy to play a practical joke on a complete stranger.
Team pranks can be a lot of fun and usually they go more smoothly than solo ops. Choose one, two or, at most, three individuals who can be trusted explicitly and completely. These individuals should be close to your target(s), but closer to you. Be wary of your target’s friends and roommates if they offer to help or approach you unbidden with their own hoax suggestions. It’s possible they are working as double agents. Therefore, select your team carefully and be sure of your assistants before revealing anything to them.
You can minimize risks of getting caught in the act or flubbing your prank by following steps one, two and three. However, you should also prepare for unexpected interruptions and awkward questions. Discuss these potential sticky situations with your team ahead of time. Appoint a lookout and clarify signals beforehand. Know all the exits and hiding places at your chosen prank site. Designate a spokesperson, and be sure you all learn the same story in case you are separated from your team at any point. Most importantly, practice your poker face in the mirror at home and try to get your tendency to blush under control.
Having completed your prank successfully, you must be sure to tie up all the loose ends before leaving the site. Don’t accidentally leave behind your wallet or any other incriminating evidence. The only signs of your identity should be the ones you have purposefully placed there. Whether you sign your name to your work so there can be no mistake or leave behind a riddle so as to preserve a little mystery, your target should only be able to discover your identity if you want them to. In this case, be prepared for their attempts at revenge.
However, if you choose not to reveal your identity, you must carefully dispose of all the supplies you used. Don’t let your target discover your blueprints or materials in a box marked “highly confidential” at the back of your closet. Don’t ask your target if they have noticed anything unusual lately. Wait for them to tell you what happened, then act appropriately shocked. You should spend some time practicing your surprised expression. When you hear the news about the prank, be sure to ask a few questions out of curiosity or for clarification, but don’t go overboard. Finally, save the evil laughter for later. It simply won’t do to have you break out in an extended “Bwah-ha-ha!” in front of a large audience. Drive to a deserted strip of beach with your team, light a bonfire, and let it all out there.
03-30-2006
