LINDSEY BOERMA
Staff Writer
Everybody has firsts. Whether it be your first tooth, first doctor’s appointment, first kiss, or first traffic ticket, it’s just a part of life. Though most of these firsts, including your first bombed college test, will inevitably be awkward and potentially unbearable, don’t despair. Here’s a five-step guide to help make your first bad grade on a college exam, well, not so bad.
STEP ONE: Put it into perspective
While at first sight the glare of the dreaded “D”, or even worse “F”, shining in red ink on the front of your test may be enough to make you want to drop out of school and sign a lifelong contract with the local Jack in the Box, just remember — it is only one grade. There will undoubtedly be many more opportunities to bring your grade up throughout the semester.
STEP TWO: Don’t freak out
Think of this one bad situation as a guideline for how hard you will have to work in the class. Just take the studying a few steps further the next time a test rolls around, and perhaps you will even get the chance to see a shimmering red “A” on your paper. After all, it’s been said that Einstein got bad grades when he was in school too.
Even after you have realized that bombing a test is not the end of the world, you will still more than likely act like it is. Upon leaving class, you will immediately lock yourself in your room and cram for the next test — despite the fact that it is a month away. Here is my advice — don’t. Not only is this behavior impractical, but it will make for an even more stressful coping period. Just realize that the worst is over and move on.
STEP THREE: Satisfy your sweet tooth
Just because you should not dwell on your bad grade does not mean you cannot spend a little time wallowing in self-pity. And, speaking from personal experience, the best way to do that is to clean the grocery store out of its sugar stock. So, pick your poison — Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, a large slice of cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory, or even the classic fistful of Oreos. And, for those of you health nuts out there, take a risk — set aside the Nutri-grain bars and grab a chocolate-chip granola bar instead. Indulge in guilty pleasures without the guilt because you have a legitimate excuse.
STEP FOUR: Spoil yourself
If large amounts of sugar are not enough to bring you out of your slump, then take things to the next level. Girls — splurge on that Macy’s jacket you have had your eye on for months. Boys — raid the video game store you have been mysteriously lurking around for the past few weeks. Do not be afraid to spend a little cash on something that makes you feel good. Who says that money can’t buy happiness?
STEP FIVE: Laugh: It’s good medicine
When all else fails, remember what the “Dilbert” comic strip writer Scott Adams once said: “The best things in life are silly.” Delve deep into the silliest part of your soul. Laugh at the things that you find funny, regardless of whether or not anyone else shares your sense of humor. Rent your favorite funny movie, and watch it over and over again. Gather together the most random and entertaining friends that you have.
Still not able to take your mind off your bad grade? Then laugh at yourself and your situation. Or, at last resort, laugh at the awkward mole or thick unibrow growing on the face of the teacher who gave you the bad grade. Although it may not be the teacher’s fault, putting the blame on someone else, contrary to popular virtue, will always make you feel better about yourself.
09-21-2006
