VIRGO — No meal plan? Venison is a lean substitute for ground beef.
LIBRA — You have the right to remain silent.
SCORPIO — Cut in line at the Caf. Excuse yourself by saying that your flight’s boarding.
SAGITTARIUS — Apply Axe or perfume liberally. You’ll definitely attract all the ladies or fellas.
CAPRICORN — Stand in the back of your classes and shout your questions.
AQUARIUS — Use the timer on the microwave in the Caf to check your pulse.
PISCES — Offer to drive Scorpio to the airport. Lincoln Boulevard might be faster than the 405.
ARIES — Use anything Libra says against her in a court of law.
TAURUS — Give Virgo your slingshot and camouflage jacket.
GEMINI — Follow your nose to Sagittarius and then stare stupidly.
CANCER — Be Capricorn’s sidekick and repeat his questions in a nasally voice.
LEO — Pop some popcorn in the microwave in the Caf, counting aloud each pop.
