I am composing this column from a desk post-college. Yes desks exist post-college. I also just spoke with my friend on the phone because thankfully friends exist post-college too. Life moves on but I remember well the terror of many classmates as we approached the “walk” of life evolution from undergraduate status across the stage to supposed adulthood.
My last final exam was bittersweet. I enjoyed the classroom and I knew that finishing would not trigger extreme personal metamorphosis. I still lacked spelling capabilities and no Hagrid character was busting down my bedroom door calling me the chosen one of our generation. In fact I felt like my usual self now holding a diploma. Unfortunately the thought of remaining the same person was my strongest source of fear. I knew that I had unpractical dreams. I had wild visions of my place in the world of where I wanted to live and work and I was immobilized by the prospect of settling down.
I found an article in August shortly after finishing school that changed much of my perspective. The New York Times published a piece in their online magazine titled “What Is It About the 20-Somethings.” Someone had finally put into words what I was witnessing among my peers and feeling in my heart — a cataclysmic truth. I don’t want to grow up. There I said it. I don’t plan on forming a tribe of Lost Boys. Nor do I plan on hiding in Disneyland for the next 10 years. I just want to see the world avoid a mortgage explore my career options and put my wild idealism to the test; and I found that I wasn’t alone. In the article one of the first paragraphs lays out some surprising statistics. For instance one-third of people in their 20s will change residencies annually 40 percent will spend a period of their 20s back home with their parents they will change jobs approximately seven different times and the median age for marriage has risen to 28 for men and 26 for women up five years and three years respectively since 1970. Sociologists believe that a new stage of development may be identifiable within our society titled “emerging adulthood.” During this stage typically during the 20s a person focuses on solidifying an identity feels filled with a mighty “sense of possibilities and understands that he or she is caught between adolescence and making the life-long commitments necessitated in adulthood.
What did I do with this information? I laughed out loud in a Starbucks for at least 10 minutes, I shut my computer (who reads printed materials anymore?) and embraced my freshly labeled stage of life with renewed excitement. Where could I go wrong? The New York Times made the next 10 years of my life sound like pandemonium. The more I thought, the more I realized the unique perspective of my age. I knew that I could survive on very little income, as long as I could cover rent, food and the student loans that somehow found me. I knew that I would never be homeless, thanks to the love of friends and family. I knew that I would probably never miss a meal. I knew that I was given an opportunity to do what few generations have ever done before — to cast away my fears for the future and focus less on finding a job, but more on finding my productive, vibrant place in the world.
I did what I encourage all of you to do in the next few months. I took an accurate assessment of my needs. For example, I knew that I needed to live in a supportive community, working at a job that was making a difference, providing me with a feeling of contributing to something greater than myself. Most importantly, I knew that I needed to avoid the elusive securities of money. My experience echoes the words of Condoleezza Rice, in her address to Pepperdine two weeks ago. She encouraged students to find their passion and make decisions in the moment. She claimed that a person would end up in a far different place than where he or she expected. For Condoleezza, she enjoyed studying foreign politics, unaware that she would be Secretary of State. She urged students to simply leave college and choose the next step, not worrying about every life step.
I left college very unaware of my next step. But I knew my needs and my passion, and somehow, probably because I embraced the unknown of the 20s lifestyle, I ended up with a job that excites me every day. I’m working on a feature-length documentary on happiness, literally titled HAPPY. I started as a generalist intern on a whim and am now largely in charge of this year’s national release. My job entails speaking to people across the world about happiness and life fulfillment, while also learning the ropes of independent filmmaking and distribution. I live in close community with many of my friends, and I feel as if my work is making a difference in the world. I understand that the mortgage and life decisions will eventually find me, but six jobs and nine residencies later I may find those thoughts attractive. To the class of 2011: Plan now for the next step, but just the next one, and do not allow yourself to be paralyzed by fear; but know that in this transition, and in your feeling of limitless possibilities, you are not alone.