Big Deal
By JJ Bowman
Staff Writer
Most of us know the Internet ranks just above prison and the “Jerry Springer Show” as the worst place to find romantic partners. Chat rooms and other such online dating scenes offer far less verifiable information than even a brief bar room encounter.
If you see a woman in her mid-20s order a drink, you can at least be certain she is not a card-carrying member of NAMBLA in his late-fifties. (NAMBLA, for those of you not hip to pedophilia lingo, stands for the North American Man-Boy Love Association).
Our own professor Dr. Steve Rouse published a study on the ineffectiveness of meeting people online, titled “Exploring the accuracies and inaccuracies of personality perception following Internet-mediated communication” (apparently he was paid by the word). The study showed that Internet veterans and novices alike had no ability gauging the personalities of the people they spoke with online. He also discovered that for some characteristics, such as introversion and extroversion, participants tended to believe their online buddies were similar to them even when they were not.
So this all leads to what common sense already says – picking up chicks, guys or transsexual chicks pretending to be guys, is best left for face-to-face environments.
Lately, common sense has been telling me that heavy reliance on IM, e-mail and the Internet to maintain existing relationships is also a terrible idea.
Most IMers have at one time mistaken the identity of the person on the other screen. By the time they’ve been given the tip-off of a misunderstanding, such as “Who’s Derek?” or “That’s no way to talk to your religion professor,” any chance at salvaging dignity has passed.
And so many have logged on to their roommate’s screen name and started an IM conversation with that person’s significant other by typing “We need to talk …” or “I wasn’t totally honest with you about my trip to Ibiza.”
Opting for the Internet over a phone call or personal meeting detaches one from reality.
Take, for instance, this one girl on my buddy list. After her boyfriend dumped her and moved on, she used her away messages and IM profile as a forum to regain his love. Unlike the protagonist of a romantic comedy standing on his dream girl’s front lawn until she finally succumbs to his lovable stalking, this behavior is both bizarre and creepy.
I implore everyone in relationships to opt for a telephone call or a face-to-face meeting with their partners as often as they can. It’s much healthier, and it’s the only way to be certain they have not run off to join NAMBLA.
This concludes my 30th and final column for the Graphic. I thank everyone who took the time to read any of my rants, and I am grateful for all my friends who spared my feelings by pretending to read my work.
Unfortunately, I could not address all the pressing concerns we face – how to stop Julia Stiles from making more movies, how to make Eminem our poet laureate, how to best utilize ninjas in the war on terror. Still, I did manage to touch on a couple issues besides the Boston Red Sox, TV and Pepperdine’s alcohol policy.
I also thank Dr. Reineck, Christina Littlefield and the Boston College High School English department for helping me develop as a writer and Dr. Jordan, Dr. Waters and Elizabeth Smith for keeping me interested and enthusiastic about journalism.
And thanks Mom and Dad for paying way too much for this worthwhile education.
That’s all I got to say about that.
Submitted April 1, 2004
