Instead of following the weekend trend of attending the bromance of I Love You Man I entitled myself to a little bromance of my own Friday night.
With nothing really going on in terms of work (spent the last two sleepless weeks putting together an article on Texas Tech football coach and Pepperdine graduate Mike Leach) and play (Songfest ruins social life for us outsiders), I stayed in and had a movie night with my buddy Mike.
It was midway through the wildly underrated Fever Pitch” when gangly-man Jimmy Fallon was brought up with the dilemma of choosing either the love of his life (the Boston Red Sox) or Drew Barrymore.
Personally Barrymore doesn’t hit a chord with yours truly but a snarky quotation from a child actor – of course it had to be a child to hit home – really pegged what I had been going through this season with the Los Angeles Clippers.
“You love the Red Sox but have they ever loved you back?” the kid asks Fallon which signifies the movie’s “light bulb on” moment.
It hit me too. Not that I was watching a cheesy romantic comedy with a guy friend on the same couch while we could be studying (or at the very least watching “I Love You Man”). It was more of the fact that sometimes we truly do invest way too much time and energy into our sports teams and they impact our lives more than we think.
It has been a rough NBA season for Clipper Nation (which rounds out to about eight people including myself and Frankie Muniz). We are a tight-knit group and checking my Facebook wall from summer-to-present time would be the best indicator.
“Sniff sniff … is that the playoffs that are giving off that wonderful stench?” my buddy Kyle wrote on my wall the first week of July. The Clippers had just acquired Los Angeles native Baron Davis and there was hope of re-signing Clipper legend and fan favorite Elton Brand.
“Dude let’s just see what happens over the next few days I replied. I was always the pessimist, because you have to be as a Clippers fan. Kyle was always the optimist, which is how our fan-to-fan relationship works.
We became good friends in junior high because of our love for the underdog. Sleepovers with Clippers T-shirts and NBA Live Playstation sessions of back-to-back Clippers championships were a common occurrence. When others were shouting Kobe! Jordan! Iverson!” after a playground crossover or deep jumper we yelled “Piatkowski! Odom! Maggette!”
Does this ring a bell for anybody else? No? Thought so.
Kyle was the first person I called after the blood and life sucking soul of a coach Mike Dunleavy put in the cold and inexperienced guard Daniel Ewing to defend against Phoenix Suns’ Raja Bell into what was the ending of the magical 2005 to 2006 season. (Hint: Ewing didn’t hit the three and Bell did forcing a second overtime of a potential series-clinching game six of the Western Conference Semifinals a place the Clippers will never see again.)
The best season I ever had was ruined by the man who still coaches to this day. It was during this season that I openly wept at a game against the Miami Heat in front of other Pepperdine freshmen. (Probably makes sense now that I had a romantic-comedy date Friday.) So naturally now that Dunleavy has become the general manager this season (why?) after two sub-.500 campaigns it was only fitting we lost Elton Brand to the bright lights of … Philadelphia?
“Lost of lot respect for Brand Dunleavy and Clippers today Kyle said. I’m just hurt I really am.” This is coming from the optimist of the group mind you. Everyone in Clipper Nation was slowly deteriorating into broken-hearted mush.
The season wears on and on loss after loss. And these weren’t just losses – they were pathetic ill-fated attempts at trying to play basketball.
The two new pieces I bet massive amounts of money on to lead us to the playoffs Baron Davis and Marcus Camby (boy would I like to have those gentlemen’s bets back) have openly criticized their new coach and their new teammates. The media has pointed out the lack of hustle and the non-lack of eye rolls in the team huddle. I have seen more leads crumble down the stretch this season than I have in my entire Clipper-fan existence (547 losses to be exact).
“Why?! What happened?!” I posted on Kyle’s wall after the Clips lost to the Memphis Grizzlies by 21 points in February. Even longtime Clippers announcer and best-in-the-biz Ralph Lawler is lost for words. For a man that has broadcasted Clippers games for 31 years that’s saying something.
I saw the way Fallon’s character in “Fever Pitch” had become obsessive over his favorite team. But all he got out of it was depression and heartbreak year-after-year. He could never relate with someone outside his optimistic-sports world because it was always him and the team throughout his adult life.
So I pose the question again: Have the Clippers ever loved me back? Actually “Have the Clippers ever loved?” is probably the more appropriate question. Even when owner Donald Sterling opens his stingy checkbook the results get worse.
So after a therapy-and-tissue session with a few of my closest friends at Pepperdine I have decided a breakup is necessary. I set the deadline for Dunleavy to get fired two weeks ago but of course he and his god-awful striped suits are still roaming aimlessly on the sidelines.
Now my time is freed up from Clippers message boards and blogs. I don’t have to be tied down to the TV every time the Clippers lose by 30. My Clipper Nation T-shirts are now the property of Goodwill so hopefully they will find a good home with some hipster looking for an ironic/vintage T-shirt to wear to The Echoplex on Monday nights.
I’m currently shopping around for another team and I’m not going to lie being single feels great. My friends have laid down the rules to the “dating game” they have set up for me. I can’t hop on any major bandwagons (Lakers Cavs Celtics etc.) or division rivals coattails (Lakers again Phoenix) and I must narrow the teams down week-by-week until the end of the season when I announce my choice in some sort of dorky team rose ceremony only my friends would be geeked up about.
Meanwhile I get to pick and choose the games I want to see and the Portland Trailblazers have been catching my eye as of late. But hey everyone deserves a little face time with the Basketball Bachelor.