It was four years ago that I started to get excited about college. It’s been a great four years, but my love affair with academia is over. Problem: I have one semester left to go. Getting through the current one is going to be trouble enough; writing a senior thesis on half-enthusiasm (at best) might prove difficult. So, putting the brakes my educational slide into apathy, the key from here on out is to keep an eye on the future without neglecting the present.
Much to the ire of some of my professors, my motivation is shifting away from schoolwork. You see, I possess a rare characteristic among people my age: a job. Rarer still: I have two of them. This is actually my third semester of dual employment in addition to my academic endeavors. I’ve tasted what it’s like to be productive, and I crave more.
About a third of my waking hours are spent writing, designing, and editing for the very newspaper you hold in your hands. I spend another third coordinating volunteers for Habitat for Humanity. The final third is spent in class or doing homework. (What? Social life?)
When I look at my time, I see two thirds of it spent accomplishing stuff, and the other fulfilling rather superficial expectations. Working allows me to create something of value for other people and get paid for it. School lets me (my grandparents) pay lots of money to do lots of work and get a piece of paper that tells other people that I’m really as smart as I already know I am.
Now, adults are prone to remind the younger generations that college is the best time of our lives, but comparative analysis doesn’t convey the same story. My parents not only work fewer hours than I do, but they also make vastly larger amounts of money. As a college student, my studies extend from early-morning classes to late-night homework with time for little else. I’m perennially dependent on Pepperdine’s charity and my family’s support. Overworked, broke and sleep-deprived are apparently characteristics of the glory years.
College isn’t all bad though. I have to remember that when my senioritis kicked in last time, it was because I had my eye on the future, and that future was college. College, a wonderful place full of intellectual discussions, broadening horizons and studying abroad. In comparison, high school seemed a dreary remnant of my old life gone past its expiration date. While I now suffer nostalgic bouts of yearning for those days when I didn’t have to think about what I was doing with my life, I know that I couldn’t have stayed there forever.
What college was to high school, working is to college. (I say working in place of the usual cliche, “real world,” because the way things are, the real world doesn’t necessarily equate to a job.) That glowing future I dreamed of as a high schooler is now the past I fondly recall: meeting interesting new people, encountering challenging new concepts, forming new ideas and opinions. I’ve lived in different countries; I speak a new language. College has been extremely generous to me in every aspect except girlfriends (still five months left!). It’s been good, but it’s time to move on.
This doesn’t mean I’ve completely checked out of my education or that nothing I’m currently learning doesn’t matter, just that I’ve come to that point where my focus is elsewhere. I want to stress that I’m not anti-learning. Anyone who knows me and has suffered through my uncontrollable assault of trivia (Hey, did you know …) knows that I have an unending desire to always know more stuff.
I may have, regrettably, just painted a target on my back for all my professors. But I had to say it, for myself and for those who fancy themselves ready to launch. I’ll do my best to keep my feet on the ground, as long I don’t get too much trouble from having my head in the clouds.
As arbitrary or onerous as I may find these last few classes, especially when I know I’m capable of working, my education isn’t done yet. The refrain of “live in the moment” so often repeated in regard to life experiences also applies to class. My fellow seniors and I (and probably even a handful of juniors) are probably getting really tempted to check out early. Don’t do it. Being ready for the future is crucial, especially at this stage of life, but staring at the future is sort of like staring at the sun, damaging to your vision. The future will eventually be the present, and you’ll need to know how to work in it. Practice that now. You may learn something.
