CANON HAMLIN
Staff Writer
B-movies are strange creatures. Some of them are actually quite entertaining, and even the really horrible ones are so bad they are good.
Low-budget films, especially those in the horror genre, can either take audiences completely by surprise, like “The Blair Witch Project,” or be so embarrassingly bad that they are entertaining to watch and make fun of, like “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.”
The original version of “The Fog,” directed by acclaimed horror director John Carpenter, was a B-movie classic. It introduced a genuinely original way of scaring people, depicting ghosts in the cover of fog killing those who had murdered them. It also spooked audiences already scared by Carpenter’s earlier hit, “Halloween.” “Halloween” encompassed every aspect of a good campfire story. It had charm, wit and a chilling atmosphere, all with very little in the way of budget.
Why the history lesson? Hopefully, it will save audiences some of the embarrassment caused by the new remake of the film, which proves that giving a low-budget movie more money than it needs is generally not a good idea.
The newer version of “The Fog” basically follows the same plot as the original. Though the new version’s writer, Cooper Layne, tries to incorporate some new elements such as the importance of environmentalism, he also manages to suck out all of the original’s suspense and chilling moments. This is no surprise looking back at his past works, such as the sci-fi flop “The Core.”
It baffles the mind that Carpenter would let someone destroy his original classic. Carpenter is even one of the film’s producers.
The movie lacks all of the essential elements of a modern horror film: suspense, scare-you-out-of-your-seat shocks and one other little thing called horror. The mood of the film is ruined by stale, lifeless acting.
The movie does manage to do some things competently. At least while you wait for the movie to end and wonder how many times you will have to see a fog bank roll in, you have some good-looking people to stare at mindlessly.
Tom Welling, known to most teenage audiences as Clark Kent from “Smallville,” manages to find many excuses to take off his shirt. Maggie Grace, from ABC’s “Lost,” also manages to find excuses to remove various articles of clothing.
That was the good. Here’s the bad: everything else.
The acting is atrocious. There are several times audience members will have to stop themselves from laughing at the sheer inanity of the characters.
The graphics department tried to create spooky “fog monsters,” but only manages to show how much CGI effects do not help a failing movie.
The plot, while staying true to the original in a general way, strays too far and becomes confused and thoroughly unoriginal. The big secret, the reason that the fog is killing people, turns out to be extremely bland and overused.
The introduction of a romance theme and a moral theme ties up the already flailing plot with even more overused devices.
Grace’s character even falls in love with one of the deadly, fog-like spirits. This is not done in the romantic and tragic sense of “Ghost,” but far from it. These ghosts have been killing people all around her. This unbelievable plot development proves to be the final blow in an already mangled movie.
Viewers who still want to see a modern horror movie should rent one before seeing “The Fog.”
“House of Wax” is coming out on DVD, and who wouldn’t like to see Paris Hilton die?
Those who wish to see a movie about killer ghosts coming out of a soupy fog would do well to go out and rent Carpenter’s original.
It may not have the same scare as it used to, but it will be a much more enjoyable experience than wasting money on this flop.
10-27-2005