SARAH WING
Heidelberg Columnist
I suspect the reason why it has been particularly difficult for me to concentrate this week is because there are so many things that have been running through my mind lately.
I have been trying to work out grades, the future, relationships and work. I have been trying to organize it all in its own perfect spot so I can feel like it is taken care of and so I can cross it off of my “To Do” list. Figuring out exactly how everything is going to unfold is a process that has been both frustrating and exhausting. The slightly irrational (and maybe a bit overdramatic) thoughts start to flood my mind. How am I going to get into graduate school if I do not do well in my courses? What if I cannot get the promotion I want? If I have to take summer school, I know I will not get a good internship.
In struggling through this process, I had an epiphany. Perhaps “epiphany” is a strong word — I simply recognized something I already knew but was simply not putting into practice.
God reminded me of a passage in Matthew 6 where Jesus’ followers are questioning Him about their future and for how they will be provided. Jesus points out the birds, which somehow always receive the food they need, and the flowers, which he clothes in beautifully adorned garments.
Jesus reminds his friends that God values them much more highly than any bird or flower and that they need not spend time worrying about provisions or the future.
However, in my mind, the most striking aspect of this passage was Jesus’ words regarding what should be sought instead: “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).
I was convicted when I was reminded of this verse. Of all the things I had been seeking, God’s kingdom and righteousness were admittedly not at the top of the list.
I felt like this was a gentle reminder from God that if I had simply put Him first, other things would consequently fall into place.
By no means am I suggesting that if I had just given everything to God, life would be absolutely perfect, free of hardship or trial.
What I am suggesting, however, is that if I am focused on seeking God’s will for my life, then perhaps I will not worry about trying to figure things out myself.
John 15 promises us that, if we abide in God, our joy will be complete and not lacking in anything. That is a promise that straight As or a perfect boyfriend cannot make.
I guess I am finding out that, if I am seeking God, the rest of the circumstances I often focus on seem far less significant. I am finding out that when I seek God, grades matter less to me, money matters less to me, my image matters less to me and the future matters less to me — I come to realize that people matter more to me, the present matters more to me, service matters more to me and hope matters more to me.
What I am aware of now is that it is a simple matter of perspective. I am learning that no one’s perspective could be better for my life than the Creator of life itself.
11-09-2006