CONNIE HORTON
COUNSELING CENTER
Stress is a common phenomenon among students and the most frequent reason that students seek counseling at Pepperdine’s Counseling Center. Whether or not they seek professional help, most students can relate to the feeling of being “stressed out” at times.
Stress is a normal part of life. Being stressed means that personal resources are being taxed. A sort of “stretching” is occurring. For students, common stressors include academic demands, career concerns, financial worries and relationship conflicts.
Though these experiences can “stretch” a person, if an individual’s stressors overwhelm his or her coping resources, life feels out of balance and physical and mental health are at risk. A student is more vulnerable to become ill or to struggle with feelings such as depression or anxiety.
When some students feel overly stressed, they may engage in any number of unhealthy efforts to get quick relief. A variety of behavior patterns (such as binging and purging, abusing alcohol or drugs, having indiscriminate sex or engaging in self-injury) may have one thing in common: the goal of stress reduction.
In the short-run, these behaviors may provide very temporary relief. The problem is, the relief from these unhealthy attempts at coping does not last. In fact, they often result in more problems (like shame, embarrassment, relationship tensions, legal or university judicial problems) adding to the pile of stressors.
Instead, if students will develop the two psychological skills of emotional regulation and distress tolerance, described by clinical writers such as Linehan, they will be in a good position to manage stressful periods and have long-term solutions.
Emotional regulation involves being able to bring tension levels down in healthy ways. Having a “bag of tricks” or “menu of options” to consider is helpful because what will work at any given time may vary.
Exercising, enjoying nature, reading for pleasure, balancing periods of productive work with guilt-free breaks may be important examples of healthy coping. Drawing on social and spiritual resources may also be important. Spending time talking or having fun experiences with friends can help a student cope with stress. Praying, meditating and expressing gratitude to God can be “grounding” experiences that help remind a student of deeper truths and put daily stressors in perspective.
Many times these emotional regulation efforts are successful; however, often it takes some time before the sense of relief sets in. Other times, it almost feels like nothing is ever going to work because the stressor is too great. In this era of instant gratification, this can be hard to tolerate. For these moments, it is important to develop another psychological skill: distress tolerance.
Distress tolerance is learning to “sit with” stress, pain, or discomfort rather than panicking and resorting to self-destructive strategies. No one ever died from distress, but many have been hurt or died from panicked efforts to relieve distress.
Students will say, “I can’t stand it,” yet at that very moment, they are “standing it.” To paraphrase M. Scott Peck in his 1970s classic, “The Road Less Traveled”: “Life is hard; once you accept that, it’s not so hard.” Self-talk such as “This too shall pass” or “If I’m in the middle of difficult time, then I’m half-way through it,” or “One step at a time” may be helpful reminders.
Emotional regulation and distress tolerance are developed skills. Students seeking assistance as they seek to grow in these arenas are encouraged to call the Counseling Center at ext. 4210 to sign up for a Monday evening group on this subject or to make an appointment for individual counseling. If stress has already taken its toll and a student is ill, the Health Center can be reached at ext. 4316.
03-16-2006
