Pepperdine is home to a plethora of events activities and organizations. Throughout the year spectacular performances fill the calendar.
I am a huge supporter of the various events that go on all year. So I thought to myself “Ben— what is the best way of honoring a well-established respected idea?” Immediately I thought “A spin-off.”
So I’d like to introduce the Pepperdine community to some of my proposals that have all been sadly rejected by the Student Programming Board.
New Student Orientation (NSO) has become a rite of passage for Pepperdiners. But why is this memorable week a one-time thing? My proposal: OSO. That’s right— Old Student Orientation.
We bring back alumni from the class of 1960 or what have you and we fill up a week chock-full of hot senior citizen dance parties. We invite them all down stuff them full of In-N-Out and show “Ben-Hur” on the big screen. Then we shuttle them up for My Tie and force them to act in themed skit with the sirenic lure of Diddy Riese and Jamba Juice. If that doesn’t sound like a good time I honestly don’t know what does.
Next idea— the Pepperdine Mating Initiative. I think we all benefited from the Pepperdine Dating Initiative. It was informational and practical providing a much-needed re-evaluation of the dating scene on campus. I’m just crankin’ it up a notch people— I’m talking about a forum at Pepperdine for getting people married and procreating as fast as we humanly can. Essentially I’m cutting out the archaic middleman of “dating.”
Wouldn’t it be a lot easier if we could just instigate a program in which we matched people up to get hitched and start crankin’ out the chillens (how I managed to use the word “crankin'” twice already is simply beyond me; let’s watch to see if I can sneak it in once more). The Mating Initiative doesn’t have to deal with the silly gender roles— you are simply trying to advance the species by finding a partner with whom you may bear fruit.
If you’re like me you’re a big fan of the Pepperdine a cappella group “Won By One.” So I wondered how could we improve this harmonious bunch? I propose— Won by Whun. Yes it is just what you are thinking. I say we bring in Korean pianist and conductor Myung-Whun Chung to direct and accompany our beloved warblers. I can just see the marquis across the world now “Won By Whun an A cappella experience (with piano).” Unfortunately Chung did not return any of my calls.
Many students were fortunate enough to attend the “Brock House Camp Out” on President Andrew K. Benton’s lovely estate. For this semester I suggested the “Brock House Makeover a night when students line up to receive a full facial makeover and expert advice from Benton. I know I’d be first in line.
Of course, everyone attended Dance in Flight this past week. The performance seems to be one of Pepperdine’s hottest events. But as the creative juices began a flowing, I thought of Lance in Flight— a Medieval Experience through the art of Dance.” The performance would stay true to the martial games of the middle ages.
The audience would sit back and enjoy a night full of jousting sword fights and whatever else Heath Ledger did in a “Knight’s Tale but with a major twist— the performers will do all this while pirouetting and pulling off dazzling fouettes en tournant. Not to mention the fact that they will also be suspended in mid-air by a series of pulleys and invisible wires that propel them around the auditorium.
If any of these ideas sound appealing to you, contact me at Benjamin.kryder@pepperdine.edu. We can fight this thing, Pepperdine.
In all seriousness, if you have actually made it through all of these ridiculous proposals and this column in general, I applaud you and I’d love to get some coffee and chat sometime. Crankin’.
