VIRGO — Carry your backpack in front of you like you’re swaddling a newborn. Keep a doll poking out of your backpack, too.
LIBRA — Reach for the stars, but beware: Many of them know how to file restraining orders.
SCORPIO — Rent a tux or evening gown, go to the beach, and wait for Cancer to draw you.
SAGITTARIUS — Buy an ionic bracelet and then test your balance by hopping around campus.
CAPRICORN — Go to the gym and hold a mirror up to the mirror wall. Then, walk through it, “Inception” style.
AQUARIUS — Make yourself appear smaller this week by wearing baggier clothes. You’ll have more pocket space.
PISCES — Capricorn’s dreaming. Dunk her in water to wake her up.
ARIES — Upstage Virgo by throwing him a baby shower. Paint his dorm room the appropriate color for the child.
TAURUS — Take a straw from the Caf and try some of the reclaimed water from the fountain in Joslyn Plaza.
GEMINI — Whip your roommates into shape by posting old Tae Bo videos from YouTube on their Facebook walls. Put strobe lights in your room for double time.
CANCER — Sit on the beach with your back to the water and draw pictures in the sand of the people you see.
LEO — Paint your face gold and act like C-3PO. Pretend the mailbox by George Page is R2-D2.