Laura Johnson
Life and Arts Editor
The United States economy appears to be in shambles. Instead of falling apart, moving to Canada or resorting to other unmentionable atrocities, we must come together and learn to love our country once more.
10. One word — Thanksgiving.
9. Well, it certainly isn’t because we still allow people to wear leggings as pants.
8. Money isn’t all that important anyway. But, even if we do drop all the way down, we’re just going to pull the rest of the world with us.
7. This is the only country where anything can be deep-fried or chocolate-covered. (Have you been to the Los Angeles County Fair yet? Be sure to try the chocolate-covered bacon.)
6. Because even if the stock market crashes, students will still have to take midterms.
5. We invented Pinkberry.
4. Everyone else hates us — we can’t hate ourselves.
3. As long as Bob Dylan is alive, we can’t be all that bad. He’s just too cool.
2. Wait, there are other countries?
1. “America, America, God shed his grace on thee. And crown thy good, with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.” Amen.
10-02-2008