Laura Johnson
Assistant Life Editor
The college beard is a marvelous feat that only few can accomplish. Yet, it probably is something all men (sorry ladies, even if the capabilities are there, a wo-beard is never appropriate) should attempt in their four years during the magical time of college. If argued with, here are 10 great excuses to be lazy with that friendly razor for a few months or more.
10. It has been proven that beard growth actually extends life by 20 years – and by that I mean it adds 20 years of life to your appearance.
9. It cleverly disguises half of your face – for some guys, a nice carpet on the lower half of the face may manage to cover up something that was not so great before. Also, a beard can prove to be helpful for those trying to be incognito.
8. It saves a trip to the refrigerator – Hungry? As long as you do not mind leftovers, just dig in that furry thing and there probably will be some kind of food particle.
7. You will always seem like the utmost authority on anything having to do with mountaineering.
6. It makes you look so clean – except really not so much. However, a beard allows you to shower less often since no one will believe you if you say you showered anyway.
5. Amish people, including the women, have one and everyone knows that Amish people are super awesome.
4. It gives you the right to answer questions by grunting –
Beardless person: “Sir, would you like cream or sugar in your tea?”
Man with beard: “Grrr.”
BP: “Oh, that’s OK, you have a beard. Cool.”
3. It proves you are not afraid to go all the way – Unlike those cop-outs who sport the soul-patch or handle-bar mustache, a beard shows excellent follow through. Go big, or go home.
2. Girls love them so much –
Girls’ words to man with beard: “Oh baby, oh baby. I just love running my fingers through this fuzz of brilliance!”
Man with beard: “Grrr.”
1. Real men have beards – From King Leonidas to Jesus, some of the greatest men of all time have gotten their strength from letting that stubble become something just a little bigger, just a little better.
03-20-2008
