By James Riswick
News Editor
To almost all the actresses who attended Sunday’s Emmy Awards: Eat something! Carbs are not your enemy. I didn’t recognize Alicia Silverstone, and Courtney Thorne-Smith looked as though TV husband Jim Belushi had been stealing her food for the past two years. What a stupid, harmful fad.
• As I walked along lower Dorm Road last week, out of the blue I heard a voice ask me, “Hey, are you Canadian?”
Now we Canadians don’t have some sort of ethnic swagger about us that sets us apart from our southern neighbors. Instead, we have a tendency to wear things that makes it obvious that we are Canadian, or really, not American. In most cases, this involves anything with a red maple leaf, a Canadian hockey team logo on it or anything made by the Roots clothing company.
On this particular day, I was wearing a Roots T-shirt with a red maple leaf on it. The sophomore who questioned if I was in fact from the Great White North was also wearing a less conspicuous Roots T-shirt himself.
“Yeah, I’m James from Toronto,” I said.
He answered to the effect of, “I’m Ken, I’m from Winnipeg.”
It felt like I had made a new friend just because we both happened to be from the same country. The funny thing is, for those of you wondering, Winnipeg is the capital of Manitoba and about 70 miles north of Minnesota. For those of you also sadly wondering, Toronto is located on the northeast bank of Lake Ontario.
In other words, Ken and I came from places 943 miles from each other and yet were connected by a common bond: We are Canadian.
“Ah, how nice, the Canucks found each other,” you say. “Now let’s get on with the Britney Spears comment of the week.” Not so fast cowboy.
You see, I’m using my soapbox this week to reach out to Canadians at Pepperdine. Two weeks ago in the Graphic, Rudabeh Shahbazi wrote an article praising Canada and our unapologetic liberal ways. Basically, if Al wants to marry Steve while smoking pot, go right ahead, eh.
I won’t go into any more of that — Rudabeh did an excellent job — but what I will say is that we Canadians should be even more vocal in our cries of “I am Canadian.”
People from Texas never shut up about being from Texas, and it’s not even a real country. Canada is and it’s time for us hockey hooligans to proudly speak up, wave a red and white maple leaf, watch Hockey Night in Canada, eat things with maple in it, drink Labatt Blue (off Pepperdine’s campus and over 21, of course), boast about how Mike Myers and other celebrities are Canadian, insist we don’t all speak French and be prepared to throw down the gloves when somebody insults our great home.
Canada is entering it’s own and it’s time we let people know. My name is James, and I am Canadian.
• Last Saturday, an accident clogged traffic for miles on Pacific Coast Highway past Malibu Colony and Pepperdine. Luckily, I didn’t have to sit in this traffic snarl for one reason: Civic Center Way. If that same accident happened two weeks ago, it could have easily taken me one-half hour or longer to get to the Shell station.
This traffic jam proved how necessary Civic Center Way is to Pepperdine and those who live in our immediate area. Without it and Webb Way, our part of Malibu shuts down when traffic doesn’t move on PCH. We may be stranded in town for a bit while the jam clears up, but at least we can make that run to Ralphs, Howdy’s or Shell.
• And now, what you all have been waiting for, the hot pop star commentary of the week. This week’s honor goes to Jessica Simpson of MTV’s “Newlyweds,” who is the perfect example of why you shouldn’t get married based on looks alone. I couldn’t believe it when I finished watching the show and actually sympathized with a former member of 98 Degrees. It’s impressive that MTV had the foresight of Simpson’s hysterically pathetic whininess, because anything that makes you feel sorry for the guy married to Jessica Simpson is definitely great television. It’s got humor, eye candy and impending doom all rolled into one-half hour. There’s just one question, “I know it’s fish, but is it chicken?”
September 25, 2003
