One day as I was jogging around Malibu Colony Plaza a friendly homeless man came up to me and asked if I believed in Jesus. I told him “I really don’t know. I just have so many doubts about it. But I go to Pepperdine.” Then after a few moments of silence he said something that struck me pretty hard. In his deep low voice he said “If you don’t believe in Jesus why do you go to a Christian university?”
I chose Pepperdine University because I came to visit the campus last summer and I simply fell in love with its beauty. The campus size is at least triple the size of normal Japanese colleges and I thought I would be able to appreciate nature a lot more here at Pepperdine. I would not be able to see this much green animals such as deer lizards and rabbits running around gorgeous sunsets and the shining ocean everyday at any other college in Japan. I didn’t think much about the academic part of the school; I was fine as long as it was not ranked as one of the top 50 worst schools. The fact that Pepperdine is a Church of Christ school did not bother me at all because I went to a Catholic high school in Japan. I actually preferred Christian colleges because I thought people would be nicer and more friendly. However the very first thing that surprised me a few days after I arrived at school was how religious many people were.
I didn’t feel uncomfortable or disgusted about it. I was shocked because it was just my first time seeing so many people engrossed in worshipping God at chapels and always relating their actions beliefs and lifestyle to God’s teachings and will. Although I went to a Catholic high school I don’t think any of my classmates were so-called “true followers of God.” I never saw students praying before meals or being engaged during masses. I rarely heard the word “God” from anyone except my religion teachers and sisters. Moreover I was not born and raised in a Christian family. My grandparents do believe in some kind of God but I am not sure whether they follow Shinto (an ancient Japanese religion) or Buddhism. As a result when I was simply thrown into this new world called Christianity I was solely stunned. I was also confused at the same time. The more I learn about Christian beliefs the more confused I get about my values and the purpose of life in general. This is why I sometimes just stop walking to gaze at the sky or the beach and think.
I had some deep conversations with some of my Christian friends to learn more about their passionate beliefs. I truly think they are all beautiful believers and to be honest I have a desire to become one. However because so many things are new to me I feel like I need more time to think and make the right decisions. I recently learned about one of the oldest religions in the world Jainism. I find its unique beliefs and practices very attractive. Because of the existence of countless religions in the world I am even more confused about which religion to follow. Despite my confusion one of my friends presented an interesting comment. He questioned why it is necessary for me to follow a specific religion. Whenever I recall his remark I begin to wonder whether if there really is a real need for me to choose a religion. Maybe I could just stay neutral and be open to any religion in the world.
Questions continue to emerge almost every minute of my life but I constantly remind myself to just simply enjoy life. I told this story of how I feel about my life and my confusions to the homeless man and I was glad that he kind of understood what I was going through (at least I think he did …). At the end after thanking him for keeping me company and sharing his own stories as well I left my last remark: “I love Pepperdine and I am just currently searching for answers.”