In light of midterm week our food exploration this week left me running last-minute to a place that’s near and dear to every Pepperdine student’s heart. That’s right: Jack-in-the-Box.
Now we all know the wonders the Value Menu has to offer – the elementary-school style chicken patty topped with a wilted and browning leaf of lettuce sandwiched between a bun the Jumbo Jack drowning in mayonnaise and microwaved three times before hitting the bag. And who can ever pass up the 99-cent tacos with mystery meat-paste crammed into a translucently greasy shell?
But let’s explore a little further this time pushing beyond the boundaries of the Value Menu to bigger and (slightly) better options. Besides after a recent scarring incident that included a Young Life “Value Menu Challenge” where two teams had to compete to eat the most food in eight minutes said menu and I are on a much needed break. (My team obviously won.)
As I stepped back and surveyed the menu behind the counter I realized there were some not-bad-sounding replacements for my double tacos stuffed with lettuce and slices of American cheese. After seriously considering the Chicken Teriyaki Bowl and the Mini Sirloin Burgers (OK I’ll admit I crack up at that politically incorrect commercial every dang time I see it) the Sirloin Swiss & Grilled Onion Burger won me over (nice and meaty on account of my needing to up my iron levels after last week’s blood drive). I topped it off with the Bacon Cheddar Potato Wedges a seasonal Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream Shake and some Mini Churros for good measure. I waved hello to Eugene (more commonly known as Skeletor) asked for a cup for water (I’m trying to watch my figure after all) and sat down to survey my surroundings.
This being my first time actually inside the Jack-in-the-Box on PCH I people-watched while sipping my water. Jack had me waiting a little longer than most other quickie burger joints would have. To pass the time (fast food these days just isn’t fast enough) I decided to count how many carloads of people I recognized rolling through the drive-thru. I repositioned myself to face the window where I could view the passing vehicles and waited for friends or food whichever came first. And friends it was. The first recognizable car went by the window and I strangely found myself self-conscious of the fact that I was on the other side of the glass than my companions. Maybe it was due to the fact that no one ever actually goes inside. Or maybe it was because I had dug myself into a hole that left me flying solo at a Jack-in-the-Box on a weekend afternoon. Oh that was probably it.
My number was called and I flitted over to the countertop to scoop away my tray of artery-clogging goodies. I said a quick prayer that the meal before me wouldn’t be my last and began my Jack journey. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised.
The patty was thick and juicy the grilled onions sweet the Swiss cheese holey. I hate mayonnaise and usually avoid it at all costs but the Peppercorn Mayo sauce on this burger was bearable. Not bad. I moved on to what were essentially potato wedges smeared with nacho cheese and bacon bits. If I managed to keep myself from thinking about what I was actually ingesting the flavor of these spuds wasn’t half bad. Next came the mini churros which looked greasy enough to give the 99-cent tacos a run for their money; but I guiltily admit I kind of liked them. They were crunchy on the outside and kind of oozy in the middle. Coated in cinnamon and sugar these little bits of fried dough made me shudder to think what kind of havoc they were currently wreaking on my digestive system and waistline alike. I ate the whole bag anyway. I grabbed my shake and slurped down my frozen version of pumpkin pie. Happiness in a plastic never-biodegradable cup. And now that I’ve just spent the past hour dissecting one of the greasiest menus around I’m really starting to crave another one of those shakes. Heck I’ll probably hit up McDonald’s while I’m at it. They have fudge sundaes for only a dollar!
