CHRIS KOCHMAN
Staff Writer
Michelle Fadley stumbles out of bed at 6 a.m. to prepare for swimming practice. Like most students she was up late the night before studying for an exam. She eats breakfast, collects her books and swimming gear, then heads out to the pool. Before she steps out the door of her on-campus apartment she hears a faint cry. It’s her 2 year-old daughter, Keira, who wants a kiss and some quality time with her mother. Fadley can’t resist — “She comes on the pool deck with me when I have practice a couple days a week,” she says.
Being a student-athlete is only one of the many duties Michelle carries on her sturdy made-for-swimming shoulders. During the day she is a 22 year-old junior attending classes and anxiously taking notes in preparation for the next exam. She is an organizational communication major with an outside emphasis in business. She doodles, gets bored and even has a Facebook account. She is also a veteran member of the Pepperdine women’s swim team. However, by night she is a mother to her daughter and a wife to her husband, Joshua, who is currently a senior graduating at the end of this semester.
“My marriage comes first in my life, family comes second,” she declares. “School and swimming would have to fall behind those two.”
Keeping those priorities straight helps explain Fadley’s life after giving birth.
She once was a conventional student who said she wasted her time perusing social Web sites while enjoying the company of her friends. She was also dedicated to her sport. When she arrived at Pepperdine in 2003 she admits “swimming was definitely my top priority and then maybe school.”
Her dedication and work ethic helped her excel in the pool, while she looked forward to college nights on Tuesdays and parties on the weekend. Her usual company included her best friend and future husband, Joshua.
At a time when most freshmen are testing the dating waters, Michelle and Joshua had instant chemistry.
“We started out as best friends and that set the pace for our whole relationship,” Michelle said. “Just being able to talk openly to each other allows our personalities to work well together.”
Joshua adds, “we have a similar approach to life and we’re both different enough to provide different perspectives but similar enough to be compatible.”
However, what began as young reckless love took an unexpected turn toward pregnancy. Toward the end of Fadley’s first year in college she wasn’t worrying about finals or swim meets — she was preparing for motherhood.
“Josh and I prayed about it a lot to help figure out what we were going to do,” she said. “Giving up the baby for abortion or adoption was never an option for us.”
In the summer, Fadley’s prayers were answered and together they would start a family.
“Just having Josh through the whole process, there was no anger toward each other when the pregnancy happened,” Fadley said. “Staying together made it easier for both of us.”
Joshua interjects, saying “as Christians you realize you’re not in control, you give your life to God and whatever happens … happens.”
And what happened was her dream wedding with her dream guy in Cabo San Lucas.
“My family was supportive of my decision to keep the baby and when I told them I wanted to get married,” she said. “They told me we’re going to have a real wedding.”
When most students are coming home to summer jobs, Michelle was soaking in her fantasy honeymoon in Cabo.
“Mine and Josh’s family was there and for two weeks it was a celebration,” she said. “What happened to me was not a mistake, it was a blessing.”
After the honeymoon, she withdrew from Pepperdine and returned home to Irvine to deal with the labor and early years of child rearing.
“I moved back home to be closer to family,” she explains, “and to go through the delivery with family.”
Fadley now takes a deep breath and begins speaking cautiously as she caresses Keira’s blonde hair.
“I went back home also because I needed to begin learning how to become a mom,” she says.
As she picks Keira up and hugs her, Fadley clearly has embraced her new motherly role — “I get to re-live life through her eyes,” she says.
Michelle’s resilience landed her back at Pepperdine in the spring of 2007 with her eyes on a degree by the fall of 2009.
“I started school and now want to finish it,” Michelle said. “My swim team, President Benton, and the entire Pepperdine community was supportive of me when I got pregnant. How could I not want to come back?”
She is assuming her old duties on the swim team, although with quite a different role. Fadley expresses jokingly, “I’m the mom of the swimming team.”
Her husband Joshua echoes her sentiments, saying “we’ve turned into the mom and dad of our social groups.”
Since returning to Pepperdine, Michelle said she remembers her freshman year and how her view toward life has changed dramatically. Where she used to find pleasure in doing well in swim meets or getting good grades on tests, now her true joy comes when she watches little Keira climb on her toy chest and play with her favorite dolls, or when she listens to Keira read her favorite books.
“After seeing her grow up I can’t imagine ever giving her up,” expresses Fadley. “Every day with her is a joy.”
01-31-2008
