Staff Editorial
In light of the Graphic’s “Benton wins honor, loses award over scheduling” from the Nov. 2 issue, the Americanism Education League award, with which President Benton was supposed to be presented, will be missing from his mantle. Miscommunications and calendar conflicts may be to blame for the AEL’s award retraction, but this mistake should not go unaddressed.
Because a potential hole in his awards case is so unsettling, it has become necessary to diffuse the regrettable incident by unofficially honoring Benton with other awards, or rather suggesting a few that he deserves.
The award he was supposed to receive acknowledges AEL’s honorees for their “exemplary lives and careers as Americans with great strength of character, citizenship and patriotism for our country. [Its] honorees are beacons of hope and role models who inspire younger generations to become self-sufficient individuals and leaders of our country in a new generation.”
Ditto. Now, the 2006 Bravo Benton compilation:
• Dream Big Award: Benton is a visionary for this university and his leadership and drive in guiding Pepperdine’s efforts to improve infrastructure, increase endowment and advance donations to enhance the school for the students’ benefit should be acknowledged.
• Host with the Most: Every incoming freshman is invited to hopping party at the Brock House for My Tie, and Benton frequently hosts other student gatherings such as monthly Senior Dinners at his place.
• Music to Our Ears Award: Few university presidents are as cool as President Benton who is quite the guitarist. He even performs at events like My Tie and he exhibits an unmatched, edgy rocker persona.
• Golden Fork Award: Many students are running short on meal points as the semester winds down, which is why we are all the more appreciative for the times that he has footed dining bills for the students lucky enough to be in the Caf at the same time as him.
• No. 1 Taxi Man: Benton knows that the hills on campus can be tough, especially with a backpack full of books. For the times that he has halted his pimped-out golf cart to pick up hikers, he deserves this prestigious award.
• “If you were a car you’d be an Escalade” award: Benton likes nice things and he likes nice things for Pepperdine. Escalades mean business and so does Benton — enough said.
While the list of honors could go on for pages and pages, it is probably best to stick to a more modest compilation since, well, he really was only supposed to receive one award in the first place.
Benton should not be left empty handed.
Essentially, without him there is a good chance Pepperdine students would be starving, perpetually late to class, sunburned and sweaty and worst of all, subjected to bad music upon their arrival to this university. They also would not be able to tell students from other schools, “While your president is a ’93 ford Taurus, ours is the Escalade that leaves yours in the dust.”
If Student Publications had the time and funds it would throw Benton a dinner party and officially present these honors to him (perhaps on a shiny expensive plaque), so that he would be able to hang them on his mantle in Brock House. It would also be sure to formally invite Benton to this bash and confirm his attendance before mailing out press releases (quick shout out to the AEL for helping Student Publications learn from its mistake).
Unfortunately, it would be monetarily irresponsible to put on such an event, but please feel free to stop by the newsroom and the Graphic staff members will consider a laminated printout of this letter.
P.S. Bring a guitar — they like music.
09-11-2006