They aren’t the X-men or the Fantastic Four. They don’t work for Captain Planet and they’re definitely not Power Rangers. These spandex-suited bad boys (and one girl) are the Wave Men. What sets this band of brothers (and sister) apart from the other super crews? The Wave Men don’t waste their time fighting crime, protecting the environment from deadly toxins or any other useless save-the-world duties.
The Wave Men heroes are too busy saving Pepperdine from a lack of school spirit. They are better than super-powered cheerleaders, and they are here to rescue our school. But who asked to be rescued? If Pepperdine was seeking to win the comic lovers award for the worst mascot in the country, we’re on our way to first prize.
The school mascot should be a source of pride for students. Can Pepperdine stand proud as a bunch of alumni wearing orange jumpsuits and colorful Afros dance around wishing they were real super heros?
The Wave Men came from a combination of two ideas: one was to have a percussion drum line and the other recommendation was to have live action people in jumpsuits who could rally students. The drum line was deemed too costly for the university. They’ve already raised tuition, but it must not have been enough to buy drums. Quick, everyone scrape up some loose change or we’ll be stuck with the Wave Men forever.
On Friday, Aug. 19, the Wave Men appeared from a cloud of smoke in Smothers Theatre. During the pilot presentation, called “Mascot 2.0,” everyone in the Pepperdine community was invited to meet the spirited heroes. The unveiling began with a video montage of the school’s quest to find school spirit. Arty Wavespeare, who parallels the Matrix’s Neo, obeys their leader, Willy the Wave Jr., as he introduces a fellow Wave Man. Dexter Gigabyte’s genius computer skills make him more of a superhero than a nerd, and Bruce Undertow’s ninja training is just what the Men need to top off the team. Then there is the female hero of the Wave Men, Danni Diesel, who could easily pass as a tomboyish gym teacher.
At first, the audience embraced the characters as a clever way to introduce the real Pepperdine mascot. But while most clapped in approval for what they thought were mere sidekicks for the real deal, some began to realize what was really happening. Suddenly the mood in Smothers Theatre changed when enthusiastic applause fell short to sounds of disapproval as one crowd member yelled, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Others in the audience said they were embarrassed that they wondered what happened to King Neptune. The Wave Men must have defeated him. Five against one? We demand a rematch!
How can a mascot consist of a troupe of five alumni? Who are these people and how long are they going to be around? There is the initial five alumni who showed up looking like a knock-off Blue Man Group for the unveiling, but what happens when the home games start? Will those people be able to quit their day jobs or leave work early when Wave Man duty calls?
Pepperdine has now successfully put itself in the same category as the Santa Cruz Banana Slugs and the Point Loma Sea Lions, as in actual lions that will swim in the sea. But we don’t belong in the same category when we have some of the top-ranked collegiate athletic teams in the country. Our men’s Volleyball team defeated the Bruins for the national title and earned an opportunity to present President Bush with a surfboard representing the Waves. Hopefully they’ll win again this year so we can see the look on the president’s face when he recieves an autographed portrait of our clownish Wave Men.
Forget showcasing the alumni on that new honor wall by the Caf. With the arrival of the Wave Men, there is a new way to display the achievements of our alumni. Let’s show the world what a Pepperdine degree gets our graduates. Following graduation, they can buy a jumpsuit and a huge blue wig next time they visit the thrift store. After all, they’ll be qualified enough to jump up and down and scream, “Wave Men to the rescue!”
Thank you, Wave Men, but your job is done here. You made us laugh (and cry). Now pack your bags and go.
8-29-2005
