While taking a virtual jaunt through the cyber park that is Facebook I recently came across “WTF Caf?” the rapidly growing forum that so poignantly expresses the gastronomical oppression being endured by the Pepperdine student body.  After shedding a few tears for my fellow peers my mind wandered off to a dark time— Paris 1832. 

Having searched far and wide I find no greater parallel to the injustice we are facing than the anti-monarchist uprising of the Parisian students in the early 19th century.  So to prime the proverbial pump of awareness and true immersion in the reality of the hurt of our sad situation I listened to all 34 tracks of the Original Broadway Cast Soundtrack of the musical sensation based on the classic work of French novelist Victor Hugo’s “Les Miserables.” 

And yes my friends— nay my countrymen— I hear the students sing! They are singing the song of hungry men.  Oh for how it is the music of a people who will not wait in line again.  Because when the rumbling of your stomach echoes the beating of a drum there is a Caf about to change when tomorrow comes. 

Call me Marius (actually call me Jean Valjean; he has such a seraphic falsetto) but I will not stand by and let the Orleanist Monarchs (obviously symbolic of Sodexo) shoot down General Lamarque (high quality food) and cute little Gavroche (our meal points).  No I say “WTF Caf?” should be renamed “The November Rebellion and we shall barricade the TCC. 

I say, join with me, friends, and sing: Red the blood of hungry men; and black the dark of a closed Caf! How much longer can we suffer the tyranny? We cry out the song God on high hear our prayer bring me food…bring me food.”

The rebellion has reached 900 members and is growing in strength each day.  The Facebook group is organizing strikes and sharing deep testimonials of the anguish caused by the oppressors. The site is littered with convicting protests rallying the war-hungry (or maybe just hungry) and bloodthirsty (just thirsty) troops.  Many voice the anguish suffered under the ridiculous food prices. 

In agony an insurgent in the cuisine crisis exclaims “They’re ripping me off!” And what is that student to do? Cut his or her hair and join a brothel? One student yells that “the crab in the sushi isn’t real” and another screams “Burrito ripped and food everywhere.”  And one young man pours out his heart saying “I’ve never gotten a piece of lasagna that small.”  These Pepperdine rebels are more than ready for justice to be served— served fresh and tasty that is.

Those Parisian students would be proud Pepperdine.  Unfortunately they died in a bloody massacre when 25000 French authorities shot them dead quelling the resistance in literally less than 48 hours.  But does that stop us? No because we have “A Heart Full of Love” and stomachs full of nothing. Is it really fair to compare an undercooked chicken sandwich with the deprivation of basic human rights? To any naysayers I respond is it fair not to?

Pepperdine “At the End of the Day” you’re another 40 meal points lower and you’ve got nothing to eat.  But “I Dreamed a Dream” in time gone by when hope was high and food worth eating.  And now all I see are “Empty Chairs and Empty Tables.” Can we endure the despotism “One Day More?” It seems we have been reduced to simple “Beggars at the Feast.” 

Are we “Building the Barricade Pepperdine? Will you Drink With Me” for the vision of a better cafeteria an “ABC Café?” I’m afraid that Sodexo’s monopoly has exalted itself as “Master of the House.”  But are they really our boon companion? Our lifelong chaperone? No because to Sodexo who am I? I’m card number 100026588!