Art by Vivian Hsia
I have spent years trying to convince myself water is just water — but the truth is, it is so much more than that.
I would consider myself a water connoisseur. I drink around 100 ounces of water per day, and I am someone who loves the taste of good water — yes, it has a taste.
We should be pickier about the water we drink. After all, it does make up 60% of the human body, and I can say with absolute confidence I do not want any percentage of my body to be composed of Dasani water — let alone the majority of it.
Dasani — I have come to realize — is the worst water to ever exist. If I wanted salty water with plastic particles in it, I would just go to the beach.
Water is vital to human life — I get it — but some bottled waters are better suited for swimming in than drinking.
Water is not a singular drink; it is an umbrella under which hundreds of brands and tastes fall. Would you sit down at a restaurant, order soda and leave it in someone else’s hands to decide whether they should bring you Pepsi, Sprite or Dr Pepper?
The answer is no.
So why, then, am I forced to sit in suspense, waiting to see what brand is placed on the table every time I order a water bottle? It is not fair.
Personally, I love the convenience of a bottle of water, but I also love the planet, and drinking from plastic bottles is not sustainable. For this reason, I have grown to appreciate a Brita filter because it is simple yet better than tap. Dasani — a Brita wannabe — is barely filtered tap water with some added table salt.
Given this information, why would I pay $1.99 for a bottle when I already have a sink and some Morton salt?
Glaceau Smartwater, for example, has added electrolytes, which provide extra hydration. Dasani, on the other hand, uses salt to dehydrate the person drinking it, which makes me need more water. The fact that Dasani is ripping me off and creating a hydration trap is honestly insulting.
I choose my water wisely, and everyone else should too. Bad water does exist, and Dasani is a prime example — there is a reason it is known to be the only brand left on grocery store shelves during hurricanes and pandemics.
The United Kingdom knows Dasani’s ploy already; it stopped selling Dasani back in 2004 due to it containing high levels of the cancer-causing chemical compound potassium bromate. The United States needs to follow suit. I think Coca-Cola has enough brands to sell — Dasani does not need to be one of them anymore.
There is water for every occasion — water with electrolytes is perfect post-workout. The daily, staple spring water contains natural minerals that neutralize the taste. Alkaline water balances acid in the bloodstream. I would love for a Dasani lover to tell me what the point of Dasani is. I would offer to wait, but I’m afraid it might take too long.
The moral of the story: You can lead a girl to water, but you can’t make her drink it— especially if it’s Dasani. Maybe try offering Arrowhead or Fiji next time.
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Email Liza Esquibias: email@example.com