Photos by Zach Le
“Know that all advice that comes from this person is good,” Alex Newman  said.
There you have it: There exists a supreme source of wisdom right here on Pepperdine’s campus. Up on the hill, more than 100 faculty families and their children live among us, while many Pepperdine students are blissfully unaware.
The real tragedy of this blindness is that these kids really do have all the answers. Therefore, as a service to students everywhere, we asked a few youngsters the tough questions, and the kids of campus have shared their insights.
If you taught a class at Pepperdine, what kind of class would you teach?
Finnegan Bolan : Calculus
Jack Bolan : Math
Finnegan: My mom was a math teacher.
Jack: She is a math teacher!
Liam Thompson : I would be the best teacher. I would teach them about Legos!
What would you teach them to build?
Finnegan: Spaceships, which I know a lot about.
Liam: Everything you can build.
Do you ever see the big kids on campus doing silly stuff?
Finnegan: [They] get into big blow-up bubbles and run into each other. They were ramming into each other and falling down and getting back up.
Alex: I see people doing stuff that isn’t crazy, it isn’t awesome, but it’s crazy awesome.
Finnegan: Like me and Ross mountain biking down the whole mountain on our bikes.
Alex: That’s not students, that’s faculty.
Finnegan: We’re not faculty, we’re kids.
Alex: Kids of faculty.
How old are Pepperdine students?
Finnegan: 18 to 24.
Why are they 100?
Jack: That’s how you crush the whole world! Because then you’re so tall, you’ll crush the whole entire world.
Finnegan: No! You’re so small. When you’re 100, you’re an old person and you can hardly walk.
Jack: Actually, I think they’re 1!
Are college students adults?
How old are you when you’re an adult?
Alex: About half of them should be considered adults. Probably like above 20.
Jack: Not above 20, above 1!
Finnegan: 800 years old.
What would you say to a kid who stays up all night reading their books because they’re worried about class?
Liam: GO TO SLEEP!
Finnegan: I read books all night.
Alex: Sleep helps your mind. Organizes it.
Jack: They should go home!
What should college students cook for dinner?
Jack: Ice cream and meat and enchiladas!
Alex: That would be a total food fight.
Jack: Fried Grass. The menu today is fried grass.
Alex: Anything as long as it involves bacon or steak.
Finnegan: They should eat more carrots, because I like carrots.
Do you think a college student should be worried if they don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Alex: Yes, they need to get out there.
Finnegan: No, they have like four years.
What if they’re a senior?
Alex: You need to get one. You need to get out.
What are you planning on being for Halloween?
Finnegan: Percy Jackson
Liam: Sharknado, it’s a shark with a tornado around it. My sister is gonna be a lady bug girl.
Alex: Harry Potter, and my dad is going to be Sirius Black.
Perhaps the most important lesson learned from our time up the hill though came from Ella Newman , who promptly set up a lemonade stand upon seeing the gathering families. We applauded her entrepreneurial spirit, but were even more impressed when we heard her business objective.
“I’m selling it for this orphan that lives in Peru, and her name is Michelle,” she said. Ella was raising money so that Michelle could have clothes and attend school.
Maybe the kids of campus really do have all the answers we need.
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