There are movies so entrenched in pop culture, it seems like a waste of time to watch them. One can easily recognize famous lines and have a vague understanding of the plot.
As a direct result of this phenomenon, I had not watched the Star Wars saga. I got the gist of it. “Luke, I am your father.” There are Jedis, Sith Lords and Wookies — oh my!
But with the announcement of the title for the newest Star Wars movie to be directed by J. J. Abrams, I realized it was time. Not much has been announced about the newest film, set to release in 2015, except for the title, which is “Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens.” This new installment is a continuation of George Lucas’ original saga, but set 30 years after “Star Wars: Episode VI – The Return of the Jedi.”
So as I readied myself to watch these movies in the dark of my dorm room, I realized I didn’t know how. I physically understood how to play the movies, but in what order? Should I follow the order in which the movies were released or chronologically follow the movies’ timeline?
Unknowingly, I had stumbled into the battlefield of a heated debate.
There are two obvious options for watching the Star Wars saga, one being “release order,” in which you watch the films in the order they were produced, recreating what others had to endure and the cliffhangers presented, or you can watch it in “episode order” the way George Lucas intends, starting with Episode I through VI.
Contacting my foremost authority on the subject (my brother), he said to watch in order of release date: Episodes IV, V and VI followed by I, II and III. Later when I asked him the reasoning, he said in a succession of texts, “If you watched in chrono, the whole Darth Vader: ‘I am [Luke’s] father’ would have been spoiled — even though you already knew it.” Not one to argue with his expertise, I embarked on my 13-hour journey. The following are my thoughts after each movie’s conclusion. May the Force be with me.
“Star Wars IV: A New Hope” – Runtime: 121 min
Good Lord, that was good. My heart hurts; I only just met Obi Wan, and now he’s been taken away. The Death Star is gone though, so we’re safe right?
It’s only 1 a.m.? I totally have time for the next.
“Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back” – Runtime: 124 min
Oh my God. My mind is blown. How did I wait so long? To answer my question, we were not safe at all. We lost Obi Wan, but now we have Yoda. Wait, Yoda is gone also. Darth is Luke’s father. Totally knew that was coming, but still. I have so many feelings. I’ve stayed up this late, might as well watch another.
“Star Wars VI: Return of the Jedi” – Runtime: 134 min
At this point, I’m wearing my Sith Lord costume. Wow, wow, wow. Jabba is dead though, and now Han and Leia are reunited. Speaking of Han, he literally had the luckiest blind shot at Boba Fett. No one deserves the Sarlaac Pit … Oh man, the new Death Star is fully operational. Emperor Palpatine is not a pretty face, to say the least. I’m going to pass out if he kills Luke. Darth Vader saves the day and redeems himself! Is it over already? I want more. Now.
“Star Wars I: The Phantom Menace” – Runtime: 136 min
Liam Neeson is a Jedi Master: That explains so much. Ewan McGregor? What are you doing here? Especially with that ponytail/rattail combo. Gross. I can tell I’m not going to like Jar Jar Binks right now. The voice. It’s getting to me already.
Why did you save him Qui-Gon/Liam? They rescue the queen who needs someone to take her Sephora makeup palette away. Baby Anakin, enjoy the suns while you can. I knew Obi-Wan was hardcore; he just bisected Darth Maul. OK, that was fair.
I’ll just sneak the next one in during work.
“Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones” – Runtime: 142 min
Totally worth watching during work solely because of Mace Windu. He is the coolest Jedi Master to exist ever. Padme is now under the protection of Obi-Wan; this will lead to trouble. Whoa, assassination attempt on Padme. Now, Anakin and Padme are sitting in a tree. YODA IS BACK. I missed him so much. All I got out of this movie was how much I like Mace Windu and Yoda.
“Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith” Runtime: 140 min
Can I just watch Episodes 4, 5 and 6, again? I’m considering the possibility that I’m not as attached to these chapters as I was to Luke, Han and Leia. Nevertheless, I have to finish strong. Obi-Wan and Anakin are back in black ready to save the day again. Palpatine is Darth Sidious?! And the Windu is cooler and better with a lightsaber than anyone will ever be. WHAT.
No. No. No. Mace … Anakin, not cool, man. Whoa, this got intense really fast. Keep breathing. Now I have to keep watching the movie to keep the circular pattern going.
If this epic journey has taught me nothing else, it’s that I was not living before I watched Star Wars. There’s a reason Star Wars has and will continue to stand the test of time, and it’s because it’s the coolest movie ever. I currently own a Wampa ice scraper to use during the typical Malibu ice storms, and a Tauntaun sleeping bag is already gracing my Christmas list. I’m addicted and demand an Ewok as a pet, as feisty as they may be. If anyone needs me, I’ll be re-watching the movies 10 more times.
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Follow Madison Harwell on Twitter: @mad_har
