Grief is destabilizing. And because it’s destabilizing, uncomfortable and a host of other things, we sometimes feel that it is also bad, perhaps something to be ashamed of, or to rush past, or to fix with shallow religious answers. But as uncomfortable and unwelcome as it is, what if grief is the seed of healing? What if seasons of grief are not a sign of a lack of faith but are, in fact, invitations to the healing nature of worship?
During grief, people of faith sometimes struggle to sing or pray during worship services. And that’s OK. It’s important to remember the many forms of worship available to us. There are days when simply being in community is worship. Being alone and silent is worship. Or, simply crying together in God’s presence can be worship.
The Psalms, the prayer and worship book of the Bible, teach us these lessons. On one page, they model joyfully praising God because all seems right in the world, and on the next page, they cry out to God because the world is a harsh place to survive. In times like we are living through at Pepperdine and the wider world, reframing grief as an avenue of worship that brings me comfort, even though it is counterintuitive.
In the Psalms, worship is experienced in both individual and communal forms. And that’s a good lesson for us. Those who loved Niamh, Peyton, Asha and Deslyn, either in a deeply personal way or from afar as members of the same community, showed up for them and for each other at one event after another.
We lit candles.
We prayed.
We listened to testimonies of parents and friends.
We were silent.
We uttered four-letter words.
We signed petitions.
We cried.
We hiked to the cross.
We hugged.
We shared flowers.
We extended grace in our classrooms.
We wrote our thoughts on hearts.
When our eyes became puffy from crying, when we curled up in a ball at night, when our throats became sore and we had headaches, when anger boiled over in our hearts as we yelled at God — this was all worship.
Many of us couldn’t sing or pray a single word, but nevertheless, like the psalmists, we worshiped. Alone and together, we entered into God’s presence.
As your chaplain, I want to encourage you that you will sing again when you can sing again. You will pray again when you can pray again.
You will hope again when you can hope again.
But, in the meantime, love one another.
This is our worship.
“May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.”
Psalm 33:22
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