Elizabeth Reinking
Staff Writer
Dr. Margot Condon, assistant director of student teaching at the Pepperdine Graduate School of Education and Psychology, is often asked to give speeches about teaching. Invariably, the subject of her experiences as a working mother comes up.
“Women will say to me, ‘I’d like to go back to work but I have three children,’” she said. “They don’t realize that I have 13.”
Yes, it’s true. Condon and her husband Allen are the proud parents of 13 children, ranging in age from 7 to 36. Also, the youngest 10 Condon children are adopted.
Growing up, Condon always knew she wanted four children.
“I’ve always been very organized,” she said.
But after having Anthony, Nicole and Tristan, she was told that she would be unable to have any more children. It was then that Condon and her husband began to consider adoption.
First there was Adam, followed by Tyler, Dillon, Bree, twins Brady and Logan, Arianna, Alix, Max, and finally Zoe. “We just kept rolling,” she said.
When they first discussed it, Condon and Allen were unsure whether it was the best decision.
“We already had three – were we doing the right thing?” Condon recalled asking themselves. “There were so many couples out there that couldn’t have any children. We didn’t know if it was fair for us to have so many.”
While at first the family looked specifically into adopting, most of the younger children came into their lives through what Condon describes as “mainly lucky phone calls” and “fate.”
When they first seriously considered adoption back in the late 1970s, they met with an attorney to investigate the process. But as it turned out, the attorney had a friend looking for someone to adopt her baby, and suddenly, there was Adam.
Many of the Condon children’s stories have the same feel of destiny. When Tyler arrived, the process went so quickly, it was a sort of “now or never” situation, that Condon didn’t even have time to inform her husband before taking in the new family member. It wasn’t until Brady and Logan were born that anyone knew the mother was having twins. Even now, Condon believes that there may be even more children in her future.
“Had I known that this was what I was supposed to do, there would probably be more,” Condon said.
One thing that is certain, however, is that there will be no more baby Condons.
“Leave the babies to the younger couples,” Condon said. Max and Zoe, the youngest two, came into the family as young children (Max was 4 and Zoe was 2). If any more children lie in the Condon family’s future, it is likely they will be at least a few years old.
When describing her large family, however, Condon hesitates even to use “the a-word.”
“They’re mine,” she said. “Adoption is not even a word in the house.”
Condon is often reluctant to do interviews regarding her family because she said she feels people get the wrong idea about her children.
“This is not an ‘adoptive’ family. This is a family,” she insists. Even with children of diverse ethnic backgrounds ranging from Puerto Rican to Hispanic to African-American, Condon waves off any suggestion that her family might face more challenges than most. “They’re all brothers and sisters — period,” she said.
Life in such a large household is bound to have some challenges. “You don’t even realize how noisy it is until you go outside,” Anthony, the oldest son, once told his mother. With seven of the 13 children living at home, life can get pretty busy in the Condon house.
“Last night we had two soccer games and two open houses and two parents,” Condon said, adding that it was a fairly typical evening.
“There’s not a lot of time for yourself.”
How does she deal with the natural chaos that comes with raising so many children?
“Being organized helps — a little bit,” Condon said. “If you walked into my house, you wouldn’t know I had seven children living there. Everyone is very neat.”
Chores such as making everyone’s lunches can be done in advance (although, she hastens to add, sandwiches are always made fresh every morning), and cereal bowls are laid out the night before. As to what everyone eats, Condon is pretty strict.
“I cook what I want to cook,” she said. “If you don’t want what I cook, you can have a bowl of cereal. You can’t cook something else.”
During one night recently, Condon had fixed a meal of omelettes, potatoes and salad.
“The twins are pretty picky eaters,” Condon said. “So they just had a big plate of potatoes each. And that was fine.”
As if 13 children weren’t enough, Condon also said her students are like her “other three or four hundred children.” As the assistant director of student teaching at Pepperdine’s Graduate School of Education and Psychology, Condon requires all of her students to stay in contact with her after graduation upon threat of retracting their credentials. She’s been teaching at Pepperdine for 13 years, and still puts photos of every new student on the wall of her office. Before settling at Pepperdine, Condon also worked as a teacher and as the director of an art academy.
While other women might choose to sacrifice a job in order to lessen the stress that comes with such an extraordinary family, Condon maintains a deep connection with her chosen craft.
“I love what I do,” she said. “I have a passion for teaching.”
She also credits much of her success to the help of her husband, Allen, who works in real estate.
“He’s fabulous — put that in. Mr. Carpool,” she said.
Condon said part of the reason they work so well together is their complementary personalities.
“My husband and I say that on a scale of one to ten, I’m a twelve and he’s a three,” Condon said. “I’m the one who keeps us moving, but he’s a little more mellow.”
Asked if she might have some advice for other couples considering adoption, Condon warned, “It’s something they both have to agree on 100 percent. Maybe more than 100 percent.”
On one aspect of adoption, though, Condon has no reservations.
“I’m always asked about bonding with an adopted child,” she said.
“Well, it takes two weeks to bond with a child, no matter what. You just have to get to know the baby and then there’s natural love. When you see how we interact, it’s no different from any other family.”
10-06-04
