Transparency Item: The Perspectives section of the Graphic is comprised of articles based on opinion. This is the opinion and perspective of the writer.
A study from the Harvard Business Review found that people often underestimate the impact of a compliment. Many participants in the study predicted that a compliment would make someone feel uncomfortable, therefore having a negative effect rather than a positive one on the receiver of the compliment.
According to the Harvard Business Review, in reality, compliments overwhelmingly improve people’s mood.
At Pepperdine, students sometimes receive critiques of their work. Naturally, most of this feedback stems from our professors want to correct us in areas we are falling short.
While criticism is a necessary part of college, sometimes we forget to mix in compliments. When we strive for perfection, we often become too focused on pointing out what is wrong rather than highlighting what is correct.
As an English major, I receive a great deal of feedback on my writing.
I agree that receiving criticism is helpful. I happily accept edits from both peers and professors. I also work as a writing tutor, delivering my own forms of negative feedback regularly.
However, last semester I took a course called Style and Editing Workshop. The class was different from any other English class I have taken because we spent much of our time complimenting each other’s writing rather than correcting it.
Before last semester, I cringed at the thought of reading a personal narrative or reflective essay in front of the class. Not only did it require being vulnerable in sharing a personal story about myself, but it also meant opening myself up to public criticism from my peers.
I knew that my pieces were not perfectly crafted. I had grammatical errors, instances of poor word choice and choppy transitions. I also knew that my pieces bordered the line of oversharing.
Despite these vulnerabilities, my professor created a class environment where I felt free to share. My class always found something positive to say about my writing.
After each class discussion was over, I believed that I was a good writer, something that I was not so sure of when I walked into the class that morning.
Outside of an academic setting, compliments can provide confidence and camaraderie.
An article from NBC states that both giving and receiving compliments are beneficial to our social and emotional health. The giver learns to appreciate the goodness around them, while the receiver feels loved and recognized.
Receiving a compliment has a similar impact on the brain as being given money, according to NBC.
Complimenting can be used in all aspects of life, both personal and professional.
Harvard Business Review suggests that expressing gratitude helps reduce stress in employees and showing appreciation with words supplements monetary forms of thanks.
An article from Penn State recommends that family members compliment one another to improve the quality of relationships.
Friendships can also be both strengthened and formed through compliments. They can act as a conversation starter to meet new people, and they encourage people to talk more about themselves.
Compliments are often undervalued in our society because we fear they will make others feel uncomfortable. However, research suggests the opposite. Compliments actually make others feel appreciated and cared for.
In order to strengthen your relationships and professional endeavors, consider paying more compliments.
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Contact Caitlin Murray via email: caitlin.murray@pepperdine.edu